logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

Freshman Jokes

  • Battle Hymn of Term Finals

    university buildingMine eyes have seen the horror
    Of the ending of the term
    It has poisoned all my spirits
    Like an apple with a worm
    It's infected all my freedom
    Like an ugly cancer germ
    The truth shall soon be known.

    Chorus: Failure, failure, degradation,
    Failure and humiliation,
    Failure, failure, academia,
    The truth shall soon be known.

  • Freshman Bricks

    brick courtyardWhile a friend and I were visiting Annapolis, we noticed several students on their hands and knees assessing the courtyard with pencils and clipboards in hand.

    "What are they doing?" I asked our tour guide.

    "Each year," he replied with a grin, "The upperclassmen ask the freshmen how many bricks it took to finish paving this courtyard."

    When we were out of earshot of the freshmen, my friend asked our guide: "So what's the answer?"

    The guide replied: "One."

  • Good Morning

    universityWhen I first started college, the Dean came in and said "Good Morning" to all of us. When we echoed back to him, he responded, "Ah, you're Freshmen."

    Then he explained:

    "When you walk in and say good morning, and they say good morning back, they're Freshmen.

    "When they put their newspapers down and open their books, they're Sophomores.

  • Smart As A Brick

    students1While a friend and I were visiting Annapolis, we noticed several students on their hands and knees assessing the courtyard with pencils and clipboards in hand.

    "What are they doing?" I asked our tour guide.

    "Each year," he replied with a grin, "The upperclassmen ask the freshmen how many bricks it took to finish this courtyard."

    "So what's the answer?" my friend asked him when we were out of earshot of the freshmen.

    The guide replied simply, "One."

  • Water Dorm

    bucketWhen I lived in a dorm, one of the favorite intramural sports was water fights. Dousing and bombarding one another with water from squirt guns, glasses, balloons, even wastebaskets. Since each room had a sink, there was endless ammunition. The most frequent target was the Resident Assistant.

    Approaching his room one afternoon, he noticed his door was ajar. Looking up, he saw a pail of water balanced on the door's edge, ready to fall on him. As he took down the pail and emptied it into his sink, he thought, "Those crazy guys actually thought they could fool me with that old gag!"

    It was then he realized we'd removed the drainpipe beneath the sink.