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Women Jokes

  • Diamond Assumption

    restaurant meal3An acquaintance of mine, whose daughter was about to be married, decided to give her a diamond ring that had been in the family for several generations. The stone had never been appraised, so the father asked a gemologist friend if she would take a look at it. She agreed, but said that, instead of a fee she would accept lunch at one of Houston's finer restaurants.

    A few days later, as he and the gem expert sat sipping a glass of Chablis, he showed her the ring. She took out her jeweler's loupe, examined the diamond carefully and handed it back.

    "Wow," said a diner who had been watching from the next table. "These Texas women are tough!"

  • Mid-Life Pets

    Menopause PunWhen women get to a certain age they start accumulating cats.

    This is known as the "many paws."

  • Oneliner #1195

    cat fishbowl"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."

    - Robert A. Heinlein

  • The Mystery Of Women

    womanI know I'm never going to understand women.

    I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root . . . .

    and still be afraid of a spider.