Baseball Jokes

  • baseball1As the manager of our hospital's softball team, I was responsible for returning equipment to the proper owners at the end of the season.

    When I walked into the surgery department carrying a bat that belonged to one of the surgeons, I passed several patients and their families in a waiting area.

    "Look, honey," one man said to his wife. "Here comes your anesthesiologist."

  • baseballMy wife had never been to a baseball game, so I took her to see the Los Angeles Dodgers one night.

    Our seats were right behind the third-base line. At the top of the first inning, the batter hit a foul ball.

    Miraculously, I managed to catch it on the fly.

    As I sat down, breathless with excitement, my wife turned to me and said, "That was nice. How many of those do you get a game?"

  • baseballOK, even though the Baseball strike was averted - there is still a need.

    Americans have come together as never before in our generation. We have banded together to overcome tremendous adversity. We have weathered direct attacks on our own soil, wars overseas, corporate scandal, layoffs, unemployment, stock price plunges, droughts, fires, and a myriad of economic and physical disasters both great and small. But now, we must come together once again to overcome our greatest challenge yet.

    Hundreds of Major League Baseball players in our very own nation are living at, just below, or in most cases far above the seven-figure salary level.  And as if that weren't bad enough they could be deprived of their life-giving pay for several months, possibly longer, as a result of the upcoming strike situation.

    But you can help!

  • baseball field"We don't have a home-run hitter."

    - Tom, ruthlessly

  • baseballI wondered why the baseball was getting bigger.

    Then it hit me!

  • baseball1I was the new coach of a Little League baseball team and had not yet learned the names of my players. At our first game I called each boy by the number on his uniform. When I yelled, "Number 5, your time to bat," Jeff Smith came to the plate. When I called for "Number 7," Steve Heinz jumped up. Then I yelled for "Number 1," but no one emerged from the dugout. Again I called for Number 1. Still no one came forward.

    As the umpire looked on, annoyed at this delay of the game, I shouted; "Who's Number 1?"

    That's when the whole team yelled, "We are, Coach! We are!"