Time Puns

  • boxing glovesBoxers who are always on time, for their bouts are very punchual.

  • coffin crystalWill glass coffins be a success?

    Remains to be seen.

  • watch faceI combined all of my wrist watches to make a belt!

    It's a complete waist of time!

  • It was a sad and disappointing day when I discovered my Universal Remote Control did not, in fact, control the Universe. (Not even remotely.)

  • snail2I took the shell off my racing snail, thinking it would make him run faster; if anything, it made him more sluggish.

  • clockWhat does a clock do when it's hungry?

    It goes back four seconds.

  • clockYesterday, I ate a clock. It was very time consuming.

    Especially when I went back for seconds.

  • calendarCan February March? No, but April May.

  • nightI stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

  • origami craneI was going to watch the origami world championships before it folded...

    but it was only on paper view.

  • coffee cupPerkatory: That awful time spent waiting for the first cup of coffee to be ready.

  • Peter Pan punWhy is Peter Pan always flying?

    He never, neverlands.

    I like this joke because it never grows old!

  • earthRotating earth: You made my day.

  • horse and car pun100 years ago, everyone owned a horse and only the rich had cars.

    Today, everyone has a car and only the rich have horses.

    Oh how the stables have turned.