Boxers who are always on time, for their bouts are very punchual.
I combined all of my wrist watches to make a belt!
It's a complete waist of time!
It was a sad and disappointing day when I discovered my Universal Remote Control did not, in fact, control the Universe. (Not even remotely.)
I took the shell off my racing snail, thinking it would make him run faster; if anything, it made him more sluggish.
What does a clock do when it's hungry?
It goes back four seconds.
Yesterday, I ate a clock. It was very time consuming.
Especially when I went back for seconds.
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
Perkatory: That awful time spent waiting for the first cup of coffee to be ready.
Why is Peter Pan always flying?
He never, neverlands.
I like this joke because it never grows old!
Rotating earth: You made my day.