Boxers who are always on time, for their bouts are very punchual.
I combined all of my wrist watches to make a belt!
It's a complete waist of time!
It was a sad and disappointing day when I discovered my Universal Remote Control did not, in fact, control the Universe. (Not even remotely.)
I took the shell off my racing snail, thinking it would make him run faster; if anything, it made him more sluggish.
What does a clock do when it's hungry?
It goes back four seconds.
Yesterday, I ate a clock. It was very time consuming.
Especially when I went back for seconds.
Can February March? No, but April May.
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
I was going to watch the origami world championships before it folded...
but it was only on paper view.
Perkatory: That awful time spent waiting for the first cup of coffee to be ready.
Why is Peter Pan always flying?
He never, neverlands.
I like this joke because it never grows old!
Rotating earth: You made my day.
100 years ago, everyone owned a horse and only the rich had cars.
Today, everyone has a car and only the rich have horses.
Oh how the stables have turned.
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