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Accident Jokes

  • Lantern Trial

    railway tracksIn a terrible accident at a railroad crossing, a train smashed into a car and pushed it nearly four hundred yards down the track. Though no one was killed, the driver took the train company to court.

    At the trial, the crossing guard insisted that he had given the driver ample warning by waving his lantern back and forth for nearly a minute. He even stood and convincingly demonstrated how he'd done it. The court believed his story, and the suit was dismissed.

    "Congratulations," the lawyer said to the guard when it was over. "You did superbly under cross-examination."

    "Thanks," he said, "but he sure had me worried."

    "How's that?" the lawyer asked. 

    "I was afraid he was going to ask if the lantern was lit!"

  • Turtle Accident

    snailsTwo snails were standing on the side of the road, a turtle stopped and said, "Do you guys want a ride on my back"?

    One of the snails took him up on his offer and off he went.

    As the turtle reached the intersection another turtle came along and crashed into him. The poor little snail was thrown and killed.

    A cop investigating the accident began questioning the dead snail's buddy. "What happened?" he asked.

    The little snail replied, "I don't know it all happened so fast."