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Chocolate Jokes

  • Chocolate Calories

    chocolate1A good piece of chocolate has about 200 calories. As I enjoy 2 servings per night, and a few more on weekends. I consume 3,500 calories of chocolate in a week, which equals one pound of weight per week.

    Therefore...

    In the last 3 1/2 years, I have had chocolate caloric intake of about 180 pounds, and I only weigh 135 pounds, so without chocolate, I would have wasted away to nothing about 3 months ago!

    I owe my life to chocolate.

  • Chocolate Laughs

    Over the years, people have come up with a number of great reasons to eat chocolate. The following 11 reasons are all viable options for yourself or a friend to eat chocolate with a clear conscience. ENJOY!

    chocolate*Chocolate is derived from cacao beans. Bean = vegetable. Sugar is derived from either sugar CANE or sugar BEETS. Both are plants, which places them in the vegetable category. Thus, chocolate is a vegetable. To go one step further, chocolate candy bars also contain milk, which is dairy. So candy bars are a health food.

    *Chocolate-covered raisins, cherries, orange slices and strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.

    *If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly.

  • Chocolate Night Before Christmas

    The Chocolate Night Before ChristmasThe Chocolate Night Before Christmas

    'Twas the night before Christmas and all round my hips
    Were Fannie May candies that sneaked past my lips.
    Fudge brownies were stored in the freezer with care
    In hopes that my thighs would forget they were there.

    While Mama in her girdle and I in chinstraps
    Had just settled down to sugar-borne naps.
    When out in the pantry there arose such a clatter
    I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.

  • Oneliner #1150

    chocolateDid you know, chocolate makes your clothes shrink!?