There was a ventriloquist who had no work for six months. He went to his agent and told him he needed work badly.
The agent said, "There's no call for ventriloquists, but if you were a psychic I could get you plenty of work." So this ventriloquist went home and hung out a psychic sign.
An hour later a woman knocks on the door: "I want to talk to my deceased husband--how much will it cost?"
The ventriloquist says, "If you talk to him, $50; if he talks to you, $100; and if you talk to each other while I'm drinking coffee, that's $200."