Girlfriend Jokes

  • couple argue2Breaking Up Is Hard To Do...(especially when you share the same major!)

    PSYCHOLOGY: Girl accuses guy of just using her as a substitute for his Mother.

    SOCIOLOGY: Each claims to have been oppressed in the relationship.

  • footballA guy took his girlfriend to a football game for the first time.

    After the game he asked his girlfriend how she liked the game.

    "Oh, I really liked it," she said, "but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other for 25 cents."

    "What on earth do you mean???"

    "Well I saw them flip a coin and one team got it and then for the rest of the game all they kept screaming was, "Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!"

  • phone2After directory assistance gave me my boyfriend's new telephone number, I dialed him -- and got a woman.

    "Is Mike there?" I asked confused.

    "Umm, he's in the shower," she responded.

    "Please tell him his girlfriend called," I said and hung up.

    When he didn't return the call, I dialed again. This time a man answered. "This is Mike," he said.

    "You're not my boyfriend!" I exclaimed.

    "I know," he replied. "That's what I've been trying to tell my wife for the past half-hour."

  • surprisedI told my girlfriend last night how much I loved her, and she said that I must have been out drinking again.

    I asked her why she would say that, and she said, "Because I'm your father."

  • front porchAt the end of their first date, a young man takes the girl back to her home. Emboldened by the night, he decides to try for that important first kiss. With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand against the wall and, smiling, he says to her, "Darling, how 'bout a good night kiss?"

    Embarrassed, she replies, "Oh, I couldn’t do that. My parents will see us!"

    "Oh come on! Who's gonna see us at this hour?"