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Sport One-liners

  • I wanted to go jogging this morning but...I wanted to go jogging this morning but Proverbs 28:1 says "the wicked run when no one is chasing them," so there goes that.

  • Turn your trip to the grocery store into a Ninja challenge.Turn your trip to the grocery store into a ninja challenge by shopping strictly out of other people's carts when they're not looking.

  • ball basketDodgeball: America's twist on stoning.

  • runnerNever bring a downhill run to an uphill battle.

  • sky diverIf at first you don't succeed, then skydiving isn't for you.

  • man large1If my body is ever found dead on a jogging trail, just know I was murdered elsewhere and dumped there.

  • exercise treadmillUnless you fell off the treadmill and smashed your face, nobody wants to hear about your workout.

  • baseball field"We don't have a home-run hitter."

    - Tom, ruthlessly

  • baseballI wondered why the baseball was getting bigger.

    Then it hit me!