Rural Jokes

  • Car 34

    snakeA young man is an avid listener to the city's police frequency, and he leaves the scanner on all the time.

    One morning while making his bed, he heard the dispatcher say,

    "Car 34, there is a five-foot boa constrictor in someone's front yard. The resident wants a police officer to come and remove it."

    There was a long pause, then some static.

    Slowly, a voice said, "We can't get the car started."

  • Lock Jaw

    veterinarianIn one small rural town the sheriff also fulfilled the role of the town's veterinarian.

    One night the phone rang, and his wife answered.

    An agitated voice inquired, "Is your husband there?"

    "He is, but tell me, do you need him as the sheriff or the vet?" the wife asked.

    "Both!" was the reply.

    "We can't get our dog's mouth open, and there's a burglar in it."