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Baptism Jokes

  • baptism*Top Ten Signs You are At a Bad Baptismal Service*

    10. The Coast Guard is involved.

    9. The service is held at Splash Mountain Water Parks.

    8. Pastor wears scuba gear.

    7. As the baptism begins the organist plays the theme from "Jaws."

    6. The preacher uses a "Billy the Bass" singing "Take Me to the River" instead of the traditional "Shall We Gather at the River?"

  • baptism tankThe youth director had been trying for months to get the little boy down the street to come to church to be with his third grade Sunday school class.

    Finally after talking to the boy and his mother for what seemed to be the hundredth time the boy finally agreed to go this next Sunday. He seemed to enjoy all of the proceedings, except as the baptismal service began he ran out the back door and ran all the way home. His mother asked him why did he run home instead of riding with the youth director.

    The little boy answered, "Its all a racket. They get you there and let you make all those nice things and tell you great stories just to get you relaxed so they can drown you at the end of one of the services."