Television Jokes

  • Raymond Burr punDid you know Raymond Burr had a brother who was a lumberjack?

    His name was Tim.

  • smiling girlA newscaster interrupted scheduled programming to announce the outcome of a political election.

    "More on candidates at 10 P.M.," he said.

    My ten-year-old granddaughter Ashley looked at me in disbelief.

    "I didn't know they could call politicians 'morons' on national television!" she remarked.

  • tv oldMillions of years ago, there was no such thing as the wheel; the only way to move things was by carrying or dragging.  One day, some primitive guys were watching their wives drag a dead mastodon to the food preparation area. It was exhausting work; the guys were getting tired just WATCHING.

    Then they noticed some large, smooth, rounded boulders, and they had an idea: They could sit on the boulders and watch!

    This was the first in a series of breakthroughs that ultimately led to television.

  • showerheadSinging in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it just becomes a soap opera!