They told me I had Type A blood, but it was a Type O.
Anyone who goes to a psychoanalyst should have his head examined.
- Samuel Goldwyn
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFERS from diarrhea, does that mean that one enjoys it?
I accidentally typed my symptoms into IMDB instead of WebMD and it told me I have Gary Busey.
"There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face."
- Ben Williams
Every warning label has an awesome backstory.
I just ordered a life alert bracelet so if I ever get a life I'll be notified immediately!
I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes...
The surgeons say they might be able to fix my mangled hands: Fingers crossed!
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