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Medical One-liners

  • medical chartsThey told me I had Type A blood, but it was a Type O.

  • man somberAnyone who goes to a psychoanalyst should have his head examined.

    - Samuel Goldwyn

  • computer keyboardI accidentally typed my symptoms into IMDB instead of WebMD and it told me I have Gary Busey.

  • dog8"There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face."

    - Ben Williams

  • warningEvery warning label has an awesome backstory.

  • medic alert I just ordered a life alert bracelet so if I ever get a life I'll be notified immediately!

  • shoppingI used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes...

  • doctor fileThe surgeons say they might be able to fix my mangled hands: Fingers crossed!