I enjoy rain when it dances on the flowers on a hot summer afternoon invigorating the day and making everything smell fresh and clean.  That is what rain is supposed to do.  I believe it is found in section three, paragraph 17 of the rain contract.  But lately, I think Madame Rain has outdone herself and I wish she would relax and take a well deserved vacation.  I recommend the Sahara desert.

I was looking out the window watching the rain come down like a flood when the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage came in and saw me.

“What are you doing?” she asked.  “Trying to stare the rain away?” “If only I could,” I sighed.  I had gawked at the rain so much my eyes were beginning to flood.  A person can only take so much rain before his soul begins to feel soggy and I had reached that place.  I even sloshed when I walked.  I hate sloshing.

I do not mind when raindrops keep falling on my head, it is when it floods my soul that I must draw the line.  Of course, it is too wet to draw a line in the sand right now, so I will make a mental note to do that later.

This next part of my journey to freedom involves my relationship with my mom.  In all my previous blog-posts when my story directly involves someone else, I’ve asked them to read what I’ve written before it is posted so I can edit anything they are not comfortable with before it goes public.  Unfortunately, I can’t do that this time.  Mom is alive, but she’s had a number of strokes which have affected her mind.  So in lieu of my mom, I asked my sister to read it.   She thought I should post it.

Still I hesitate…  I guess I need you to know a few things from the beginning:

• I really admire my mom.  I’ve admired her from about 4 years into my marriage.  If I’d been in her shoes I know I wouldn’t have done any better, and I truly believe I would have done even worse by a long shot.  Honestly.
• Mom has a lot a regrets over her “child rearing” years.  She has verbalized on several occasions that many of those years were “terrible,” and she wishes it had been different.
• I believe that if Mom were well enough to read and make sense of these next two posts she would have some measure of regret, but would ultimately be glad if they could be helpful for others to avoid the pitfalls she found herself in.

With these things in mind, I continue …