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God's Penman

The Reverend James L. Snyder is an award winning author whose writings have appeared in more than eighty periodicals including GUIDEPOSTS. In Pursuit of God: The Life of A. W. Tozer, Snyder?s first book, won the Reader?s Choice Award in 1992 by Christianity Today. Snyder has authored 8 books altogether.

Rev. James L. Snyder has a knack for making fun of daily frustrations and will increase your humor aptitude so you too can discover that life is less stressful when you?re laughing. Through these essays, you will realize that humor and religion belong together and that its OK to keep from taking yourself and others too seriously.

calendarYou would think being a husband as long as I have been I would have learned the fine art of negotiating with my wife. And trust me, it is an artistic creation.

When I got married, somebody told me that marriage was a 50-50 proposition, which being the naïve young man that I was, believed it entirely.

The problem I have discovered is that 50 from a man’s point of view may not necessarily be 50 from a woman’s point of view. If I knew then what I know now, I would have asked that person to define what they meant by 50.

Through the years, I discovered that at times it is a 25-75 split. Other times it is a 0-100. Nobody can be 100% right all the time unless of course they are married to a husband.

A devotional about work and multitaskingI have been pondering a delicate question this week. Why is it I can only do one thing at a time? If only I could do several things at a time, I could get more accomplished.

The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage is an expert when it comes to multitasking. Although I have lived with her for over 45 years, I still do not know how she does it. She is better than a circus juggler and can juggle a dozen tasks at the same time.

Not me, that is for sure!

frostLiving in Florida my idea of winter is anytime the temperature drops below 60°. At that point, I do the shiver-me-timbers dance. You don’t want to know!

I have a rare disease called Coldaphobia. As far as I know, there is no cure for this except escaping to Florida. Even here, cold will manage to sometimes poke its nose into my business. All I can do at the time is sneeze, hoping it will scare the cold away.

Experiencing a rather cold afternoon this past week, I queried the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage on this subject.

“Why,” I asked rather philosophically, “did God give us winter?”

hacked thermometerI do not like to complain (except on certain occasions when nobody is listening) but I am not too happy with the weather these days. I have never felt so cold before.

Is it true that the older you get, the less cold temperature you can stand?

If it is not true, it sure is true with me. The older I get, the colder I get and there is absolutely nothing I can do about it. After all, how many sweaters can you wear at one time?

The other day as I looked at my thermometer I saw it had dipped below my meteorological expectation. I tried breathing on the thermometer to see if I could get the temperature to rise a little bit. And, because I have such hot breath, I was able to raise the temperature quite a bit, but as soon as I stop breathing, it plunged back to its depth.

clocks antiqueA friend of mine has a saying, "I'm going to get as old as I possibly can get." From what I can tell, he has. I must agree with his sentiment. Of course, the alternative is… well you know. Another friend of mine likes to tell me, "Brother, you're only as old as you feel." I am not sure how old feels or if wrinkles are involved. But, I am feeling quite fine, thank you.

Just the other day the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage came in from her workshop, sat down on the couch and said, "Whew, I feel like a hundred."

At the time, I did not know if she was talking about dollars, pounds or years. Being the old fogey that I am, I know there are times when silence is golden and this was one of those golden moments. But, what does a hundred feel like? Is there some special sensation that pulsates through the body when a person reaches that age level? Or, is it the absence of anything pulsating through your body?

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