sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

You know you're getting there when...

  • Everything that works hurts, and what doesn't hurt doesn't work.
  • You feel like the morning after, and you haven't been anywhere.
  • Your little black book only contains names ending in M.D.
  • Your children are beginning to look middle-aged.
  • Your mind makes contracts your body can't keep.
  • You look forward to a dull evening.
  • Your knees buckle and your belt won't.
  • Your back goes out more than you do.
  • You sink your teeth into a steak, and they stay there.
  • You know all the answers, but nobody asks the questions.
  • You and your teeth don't sleep together.
  • Your try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you aren't wearing any.
  • At the breakfast table you hear snap, crackle, pop and you're not eating cereal.
  • Your back goes out but you stay home.
  • When you wake up looking like your driver's license picture.
  • It takes two tries to get up from the couch.
  • When your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio.
  • When happy hour is a nap.
  • When you're on vacation and your energy runs out before your money does.
  • When you say something to your kids that your mother said to you and you always hated it.
  • When all you want for your birthday is to not be reminded of your age.
  • When you step off a curb and look down one more time to make sure the street is still there.
  • Your idea of weight lifting is standing up.
  • It takes longer to rest than it did to get tired.
  • Your memory is shorter and your complaining lasts longer.
  • You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.
  • The pharmacist has become your new best friend.
Powered By JFBConnect

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    Missed Cues

    This actually happend to CLeanLaugh list member Nila Wilhem. She writes, "Several years…
  • Default Image

    Diet Additive

    During one of our weekly weight-loss classes, the group leader was extolling the merits…
  • Default Image

    Sharing by Example

    A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5, and Ryan, 3. The boys began to…
  • Default Image

    Goober Medical Terms

    enign.......................What you be after you be…
  • Default Image

    Vacation Term Translation

    *Vacation Term Translation*In case any of you are still thinking about picking a vacation…
  • Default Image

    Are We There Yet?

    The little old lady seated herself right behind the bus driver. Every ten minutes or so…
  • Default Image

    I've Got Shingles

    A fella walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked him what he had. He…
  • Default Image

    Lost Pigs

    Howard County Police officers still write their reports by hand, and the data is entered…
  • Default Image

    Kids' Kitchen Terms

    Kids' Kitchen TermsBOIL: The point a parent reaches upon hearing the automatic "Yuck"…
  • Default Image

    Bedtime Attire

    Frequent hand washing in my job as a medical technologist and the harsh weather combined…
  • Default Image

    Love Campaign

    The young suitor was determined to win the heart of the girl he wanted to marry, in spite…
  • Default Image

    When Aging Reality Sets In

    *When Aging Reality Sets In*1. Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying…
  • Default Image

    Preacher's Best Years

    A preacher, who shall we say was "humor impaired," attended a conference to help…
  • Default Image

    Looking For Barney

    A four year old was at the paediatrician for a check up. As the doctor looked down her…
  • Default Image

    A Hi-Tech Litmus Test

    This morning, on the church newsletter were these instructions:Hold this paper close to…