Entertainment

My husband's skills with do-it-yourself home repairs are at best mediocre. After spending several evenings trying to fix a leak in the bathroom, he finally admitted defeat and called a plumber, who finished the job in ten minutes.

Watching him put away his equipment, my son asked what had been the problem.

"Well," the plumber replied, "seems that your father got hold of some tools..."

According to a radio report, a middle school in Oregon was faced with an unique problem:

A number of girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom.  That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.

Finally the principal decided that something had to be done.  She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the custodian.  She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every day.

To demonstrate how difficult it was to clean the mirrors, she asked the custodian to clean one of the mirrors.

He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it into the toilet and then cleaned the mirror.

Since then there have been no lip prints on the mirror.

Pastor Jim was called to pastor a large Southern Baptist Church in San Antonio, Texas.  He had been pastoring a middle sized church in Minnesota and arrived on a Monday in San Antonio.  He was greeted warmly and moved into the parsonage and his first official meeting was on Tuesday evening with his deacons.

"Brothers, I am interested in getting to know you and request your help in doing this by meeting here at the church Saturday morning at
8:00.  While in Minnesota, I learned to enjoy bungee jumping and I felt it would be nice to fellowship down at that high bridge over the Medina River.  I will make a jump and show you how it's done and perhaps you may like to try it also."

Saturday morning the deacons were all at the church and got into the church van and headed to the Medina River.  Once they arrived, the group went to the bridge and observed a Mexican American family having a reunion below.  At that Pastor Jim said, "I don't think it will be a real problem, I know the stretch on the cord and I will tie it off so we won't disturb that family."

Pastor Jim tied off the cord, put on his harness and climbed to the top of the hand rail, and with that he jumped.  As he got close to the bottom a huge cloud of dust arose with a bunch of gleeful laughter and shouts.  Suddenly he arose and yelled, "HELP!!" The deacons reached out for him but missed.  Again Pastor Jim went down and again a huge cloud of dust, laughter, and screams arose.  As Pastor Jim came back up, all eight deacons reached out and grabbed him.

When he stood once again firmly on the bridge he asked, "Guys, what is a Pinata"?

I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area so I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because they were trained professionals and I was in good hands.

"Now," she asked me, "has your plane arrived yet?"