Banner
Sign Up For
The Cybersalt Digest
Daily Humor and More!!!




(please click only once)
(Pastor Tim values
your privacy
and will not share
your address
with anyone - period!)
Sign Up For
The Cybersalt Digest
Daily Humor and More!!!




(please click only once)
(Pastor Tim values
your privacy
and will not share
your address
with anyone - period!)

Who's Online

We have 375 guests and 1 member online

FAQ Cloud

Hall of Flames
AddThis Social Bookmark Button

Hall of Flames - Pastor Tim's Hate MailThe world is full of generally discontented people and spiritual bullies.  So when you try to uplift, entertain and encourage people, (and maybe even make them laugh) it only stands to reason that every now and then someone is going to go off the deep end on you.  On the internet that deep end usually manifests itself through a vitrious and gall filled e-mail sent so the author can get his/her jollies by blasting you (otherwise known as a "flame").

Here is a collection of some of the more entertaining flames I have received.  Don't worry about me.  I've been around enough to know that such people come with the territory.  Only, my approach is different that most other's. Most usually just get quiet or apologize in order to either placate the flamer and avoid getting burned up totally.

Me, I'd rather have a good laugh at their expense (after all I didn't make them type what they typed) and, in the case where they may attend the church I pastor, tell them to straighten up or go find another church to wreck.

Nobody eats sheep while this shepherd is on duty!



No News is Good News
Written by Pastor Tim   
Wednesday, 14 July 2010 21:02
AddThis Social Bookmark Button

OK.  So each day in my Cybersalt Digest newsletter I try to put pithy (BTW I don't have a lisp) comments to describe things that are new on the Cybersalt Site.  I put this news under a heading that says "Cybersalt News".

Yesterday there was no news so instead of leaving that section blank I put:

"I have good news for you; well, they say no news is good news."

Helen C. replied:

"This isn't funny, esp coming from a man of God.  The Gospel is literally GOOD NEWS."

I wrote Helen back:

Hi Helen.

That came from under the title “Cybersalt News” where I put info about what is new on the Cybersalt Site.

There was no Cybersalt news yesterday – hence the comment.

I think you need to relax.

Helen get's the last word here:

"okay.  I think I need to unsubscribe."

 
Thinking of Me
Written by Pastor Tim   
Saturday, 27 March 2010 12:35
AddThis Social Bookmark Button

This flame I orignally didn't bother putting here but when the sender contacted me again out of the blue months later it was clear it owned a spot here.

So back on January 19th (today is March 27th) B***** Baker unsubscibed from one of my lists and gave the following reason for doing so:

I only wanted jokes, not to be preached to.  Left the cult of mormonism, and at this point I just don't want to be force fed about any religion, cause I found out that the Mormons were and still are a bunch of liars and I have no idea where their theory of theology came from along with all those secrets. Of course they never told me any of this when I was recruited,which is why I left.  I have since rejoined my Catholic church,and am much happier, but I only go when I want to go.  They don't take "attendance" like the mormons do.  I am currently helping a gal leave mormonism as well, as she was lied to also.I feel that God must be asking me to help her as she seems to be going through a very hard time right now, and has now gotten rid of all her mormon literature.  I guess she had been praying to the mormon version of God, and not the real one, or to the real Jesus.  That is where I come in, to show her right and wrong, but not to force any faith on her, as she needs my total support right now, and if she decides to go to any church, then that is her decision.  Thank you.

To busy to really diagnose what causes a person to feel force fed while reading an e-mail they signed up for from a pastor, I replied:

Thanks for your feedback.

You clearly have issues about Mormonism and I'm not sure what that has to do with any of the e-mails sent out from any of the lists on www.cybersaltlists.org You signed up of your own free will and have unsubscribed of your own free will and other than noticing your huge emotional scar that has created a kneejerk reaction to an e-mail newsletter I have no opinion or judgment of you as a human being.

I hope in time you find the healing you need - of course only if you want it.  

God Bless, Pastor Tim

Today, more than 2 months after receiving B's first e-mail, the following suddenly showed in my e-mail - a reply to a joke mailing I sent out January 1:

Just wanted to let you know that your jokes are stupid, and I still think you are an idiot...Never got to tell you that when I unsubscribed to your stupid joke list! Also, I still dont appreciate you being so mean to me cause you acted just like one of those inbred soul soliciting mormons...everybody here thinks so too.
Maybe you should use your spare time studying how to be a real priest instead of forcing your crappy theology down everyones throat!!

My reply:

Thanks for letting me know you are still thinking of me!

Pastor Tim

I love having fans.  I love it so much I'll even let them have the last word - well at least the ones I'll allow on this site.

B replied:

I think you are a s*tan worshipper, so why dont you move to Salt Lake or better yet Hilldale, UT and join up with the rest of your inbred soul soliciting pig f****r cousins, then take your FAKE Bible and shove it up your self righteous a*s so far that it makes you choke. Dont ever write me again as I have unsubscribed to your stupid web site you jackass!! If you continue to pester me,I WILL file a complaint against you to the ISP!!I will sue you for harrasment if this continues, as I was checking and tossing OLD TRASH Mail, and for some reason you sent me mail that ended up in SPAM. We think you are a bottom feeder and you are again notified I will sue you if your correspondence continues. You are NOT a real priest anyway.

 
Shelly W
Written by Pastor Tim   
Wednesday, 18 November 2009 13:54
AddThis Social Bookmark Button

Shelly W.  wrote (in repsonce to one of my newsletters that she sign up for herself):

"stop sending me this stupid bull#!%* i dont belive in god you can shove him up your ^&# have a nice day dont send me anymore of your #!%*"

It was a few days before I got to reading her e-mail so I replied:

Hey,

I just read your mail so sorry for the delay in removing you.

Clearly, receiving and reading my e-mails has caused you to fall behind in your homework from charm school.

Hope you catch up soon.

Tim

 
Top Step To Hell
Written by Deane W.   
Saturday, 15 April 2006 06:57
AddThis Social Bookmark Button

In response to this item on the PearlyGates list:

If you get an envelope from a company called the Internal Revenue Service,"DO NOT OPEN IT!

This group operates a scam around this time every year. Their letter claims that you owe them money, which they will take and use to pay for the operation of essential functions of the United States government. This is untrue!

The money the IRS collects is used to fund various inefficient and pointless social engineering projects and favorite pork-barrel projects like studying sneezing and the swimming habits of insects.

This organization has ties to another shady outfit called the Social Security Administration, who claim to take money from your regular paychecks and save it for your retirement. In truth, the SSA uses the money to pay for the same misguided make-work projects the IRS helps mastermind.

These scam artists have bilked honest, hard working Americans out of billions of dollars. Don't be among them!

Simply send that letter back marked, "Return to Sender". If they inquire by phone, please don't use my name; I'm shy and modest about receiving the credit.

Deane W wrote:

Subject: No wonder the church is on the top step to hell.

I read this and wonder if your preaching . . .

 
I Hate Jesus
Written by Brenden K.   
Saturday, 15 April 2006 06:47
AddThis Social Bookmark Button

Brenden wrote:

"Look man I hate Jesus Christ. He is a f***ing g*y b***ard and I never liked him so send me no more emails about the b***ard."

Pastor Tim replied:

"Really? When did you meet him and form this opinion?"

 
<< Start < Prev 1 2 3 Next > End >>

Page 1 of 3
RocketTheme Joomla Templates
The Christian Counter