Monthly Archive

People say I drive like lightning, not because I drive fast but because I hit trees.... read more..

Driving to work, a gentleman had to swerve to avoid a box that fell out of a truck in front of him.Seconds later, two policemen came by. While one pulled the gentleman over, the second carefully stop... read more..

Have you heard about the pharmaceutical company that developed a new drug which, when administered to women, compels them to go join a convent?The FDA refused to license it. Seems it was habit formin... read more..

If you receive an email from the Department of Health telling you not to eat canned pork because of swine flu ignore it. It's just Spam.... read more..

Earthquake predictors are faultfinders.... read more..

A guy is walking down the street with his friend. He says to his friend, "I'm a walking economy."His friend replies, "How's that?""It's like this -- my hair line is in recession, my stomach is a vict... read more..

Most people don't know that Thomas Alva Edison was among the first to show concern for western Indians. He came out to California, and finding living conditions among natives deplorable, he vowed to ... read more..

Editing is a rewording activity.... read more..

A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.... read more..

When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.... read more..

When two egotists meet, it's "an I for an I."... read more..

"I wonder why I always feel that I'm stuck right behind the eight ball?" Tom said racking his brain. ~Simon Champion read more..

"Have you been to that new 'Einstein Burger' yet?""Why yes I have.""How was it?""Relatively good." read more..

Seen on an Electrician's truck:"Let us remove your shorts."... read more..

Shows that may be appearing on TV soon, as a result of the electronic and computer age:Modem, She Wrote: Each week, our intrepid detective tries to solve the ultimate mystery: why her modem won't ever... read more..

How do you get down off of an elephant?You don't, you get down off of a duck.... read more..

An elephant is drinking out of a river when he spots a turtle asleep on a log. The elephant ambles over and kicks the unsuspecting turtle clear across the river."Why did you do that?" asks a passing ... read more..

Elephant Stew Recipe2 Rabbits (Optional)1 Elephant, Medium SizeSalt & Pepper to tasteBrown GravyCut elephant into small bite-sized pieces. This should take about two months. Add enough brown gravy to ... read more..

Undertakers Mal and Mel were storing embalming fluid.It was considered appropriate to place it in an area out of sight. Mel had his share stored promptly but there was still a good portion left for Ma... read more..

It had been a horrible week for Henry.An entomologist (insect scientist) at the local university, he was up for a promotion this year. With the promotion would come tenure. But there was a problem. It... read more..

At the Olympics in Barcelona, some of the locals were entered in equestrian events. Other contestants were surprised to note that the Spanish riders guided their horses with so much slack in the rein... read more..

My wife recently came home from shopping with an escalator.She'll buy anything marked down!... read more..

What did the eskimos sing when they got there Christmas dinner?"Whalemeat again, don't know where, don't know when!"... read more..

What did the eskimos sing when they got there Christmas dinner?"Whalemeat again, don't know where, don't know when!"... read more..

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the craft it sank-proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.... read more..

"Would it be ethical to dig up the remains of of the USA founding fathers, create clones from the bone cells, and place them in a theme park called Clonial Williamsburg?" read more..

Q. What do you give a man who has everything?A. Antibiotics.... read more..

Two women archeologists are down in Mexico excavating an ancient Mayan burial ground looking for some remains to take back to their museum. Unfortunately, everything they run across is badly decompose... read more..

Working on a new trick, a magician turned his wife into a couch and his kids into chairs, but he couldn't turn them back.What have I done? he wondered. How can I bring back my family?Out of ideas, he ... read more..

While I was in the Air Force in Vietnam, I was in charge of a parts supply depot where the only relief from the heat was provided by an electric fan in my office.One morning I accidentally caught my f... read more..