Monthly Archive

Today's Cleanpun is actually a report to you all on a recent MSN Chat conversation I had with a CleanPun member Texas.It was a delightful chat - especially when I learned the his name was not only who... read more..

Saudi Arabia offered to help lower gasoline prices Sunday. It's just in time for the holiday. Americans are about to celebrate Gasover, when an angel stops by the door of every SUV and collects the fi... read more..

A friend of mine tried to build a gear-box for his car using nothing but dried grass. It was never going to work; I think he was clutching at straws.... read more..

I was in the band at Ellsworth Air Force Base, South Dakota.Our group was required to play for all generals who arrived on our base. One morning, when our commanding officer heard on the radio that a... read more..

A man is driving down a country road when he spots a farmer standing in the middle of a huge field of grass. He pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that the farmer is just standing... read more..

My brother, a pastor, has done some methodical research and discovered the name of another one of Santa's reindeer - Gerald Lee. Gerald was bigger than the rest of the reindeer, and not too gifted in... read more..

I once knew a woman wanted to marry a ghost.I don't know what possessed her!... read more..

An intrepid photographer went to a haunted castle determined to get a picture of a ghost which was said to appear only once in a hundred years.Not wanting to frighten off the ghost, the photographer s... read more..

"My childhood was rough. Once for my birthday my old man gave me a bat. The first day I played with it, it flew away."- Rodney Dangerfield read more..

The rich aunt was hurt and said to her nephew, "I'm sorry you don't like your gift. I asked you if you preferred a large check or a small check.""I know, Auntie," the nephew said contritely, "but I d... read more..

The fight between good and evil, an epic battle: Darth Vader and Luke. Suddenly in the middle of the fight, Darth Vader pulls Luke to him, and whispers "I know what you're getting for Christmas!"Luke... read more..

To impress his date, the young man took her to a very chic Italian restaurant. After sipping some fine wine, he picked up the menu and ordered. "We'll have the Giuseppe Spomdalucci," he said."Sorry, s... read more..

There was this lady who was visiting a church one Sunday. The sermon seemed to go on forever, and many in the congregation fell asleep.After the service, to be social, she walked up to a very sleepy ... read more..

Little is known about the salivary glands because they are so secretive.... read more..

My son is the manager of a glass and window company and advertised in the paper for experienced glaziers. Since a good glass man is hard to find, he was pleased when a man who called about the job sai... read more..

Two goats wandered into the junkyard and had a field day. One of them spent a particularly long time bent over a spool of film. When he was finished, the other goat came over. "So, did you enjoy the f... read more..

"Ah, the golden years. When actions creak louder than words." read more..

Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez."How was he killed?" asked one detective. "With a golf gun," the other detective replied. "A golf gun?! What is a golf gun?" "I do... read more..

"I don't want to say my golf game is bad, but if I grew tomatoes they'd come up sliced." read more..

A bill collector knocked on the door of a country debtor. "Is Fred home?", he asked the woman who answered the door. "Sorry," the woman replied. "Fred's gone for cotton." The next day, the collect... read more..

A gossip is someone with a great "sense of rumor."... read more..

"Two paramedics were dispatched to check on a 92-year-old man who had become disoriented. They decided to take him to the hospital for evaluation.En route, with the siren blaring, they questioned the read more..

A high-school student came home one night rather depressed."What's the matter, son," asked his mother."Aw, Mom," said the boy, "It's my grades. They're all wet.""What do you mean 'all wet?'""You know... read more..

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.... read more..

Gravity always gets me down.... read more..

A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France resulted in "Linoleum Blownapart."... read more..

One day in the forest, three animals were discussing who among them was the most powerful."I am," said the hawk, "because I can fly and swoop down swiftly at my prey.""That's nothing," said the mounta... read more..

Grocery clerks make you pick paper or plastic because baggers can't be choosers.... read more..

A gross ignoramus: 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.... read more..

My husband was telling colleagues about his involvement with our local YMCA Indian Guides and Indian Princesses programs. His Indian name was Walking Deer, he told them. Our daughter was Little Fawn, ... read more..