logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    Colonial Break

    A company offered tours through the historic district, led by guides dressed in Colonial…
  • Default Image

    Enjoyment of Food

    Old Abraham was a poor tailor whose shop was next door to a very upscale French…
  • Default Image

    Children At The Dinner Party

    During a dinner party, the hosts' two little children entered the dining room totally…
  • Default Image

    Dollar Measure

    Our mom needed a new mattress for her antique bed, so my brother, Josh, and I decided to…
  • parachute 82nd Airborne

    Airborne Recruiting

    After enlisting in the 82nd Airborne Division, I eagerly asked my Recruiter what I could…
  • Default Image

    Funeral Bells

    A minister well known for his beautiful singing voice came home visibly upset after…
  • Default Image

    You're Not A Monk

    A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the…
  • Default Image

    Funny Boss

    The boss returned from lunch in a good mood and called the whole staff in to listen to a…
  • Default Image

    Rich Uncle

    Two men are talking. One says to the other, "I shouldn't have told my fiancée about my…
  • Default Image

    Flight Control Software

    At a recent computer software engineering course in the US, the participants were given…
  • wood 2x4

    Goober 2 by 4s

    A couple of goobers in a pickup truck drove into a lumberyard. One of them walked into…
  • Default Image

    Doctor in the House

    A strained voice called out through the darkened theater, "Please, is there a doctor in…
  • Default Image

    Keep Your Seat

    A radical feminist is getting on a bus when, just in front of her, a man gets up from his…
  • a picture of home

    No Place Like Home

    While I was dining out with my children, a man came over to our table, and we started…
  • Default Image

    New Flavor?

    The young man entered the Ice Cream Palace and asked, "What kinds of ice cream do you…

It started out innocently enough.  I began to think at parties now and then to loosen up.  Inevitably though, one thought led to another, and soon I was more than just a social thinker.

I began to think alone - "to relax," I told myself - but I knew it wasn't true.

Thinking became more and more important to me, and finally I was thinking all the time.  I began to think on the job.  I knew that thinking and employment don't mix, but I couldn't stop myself.

I began to avoid friends at lunchtime so I could read Thoreau and Kafka.  I would return to the office dizzied and confused, asking, "What is it exactly we are doing here?"

Things weren't going so great at home either.  One evening I had turned off the TV and asked my wife about the meaning of life.  She spent that night at her mother's.

I soon had a reputation as a heavy thinker.  One day the boss called me in.  He said, "I like you, and it hurts me to say this, but your thinking has become a real problem.  If you don't stop thinking on the job, you'll have to find another job."

This gave me a lot to think about.

I came home early after my conversation with the boss.  "Honey," I confessed, "I've been thinking..."

"I know you've been thinking," she said, "and I want a divorce!"

"But Honey, surely it's not that serious."

"It is serious," she said, lower lip aquiver.

"You think as much as college professors, and college professors don't make any money, so if you keep on thinking we won't have any money!"

"That's a faulty syllogism," I said impatiently, and she began to cry.
I'd had enough.  "I'm going to the library," I snarled as I stomped out the door.  I headed for the library, in the mood for some Nietzsche.  I roared into the parking lot and ran up to the big glass doors...  they didn't open.  The library was closed.  As I sank to the ground clawing at the unfeeling glass, whimpering for Zarathustra, a poster caught my eye.  "Friend, is heavy thinking ruining your life?"
it asked.  You probably recognize that line.  It comes from the standard Thinkers Anonymous poster.

Which is why I am what I am today: a recovering thinker.  I never miss a TA meeting.

At each meeting we watch a non-educational video; last week it was "Porky's."

Then we share experiences about how we avoided thinking since the last meeting.  I still have my job, and things are a lot better at home.
Life just seemed...  easier, somehow, as soon as I stopped thinking.

Powered By JFBConnect