logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    Football Sleep

    After spending all day Sunday watching football on television, a man fell asleep and…
  • Default Image

    What The Teacher Says and What She Really Means

    1. Your son has a remarkable ability in gathering needed information from his…
  • Default Image

    Didn't See That Coming

    The minister's little six-year-old girl had been so naughty during the week that her…
  • centipede

    Centipede Snack

    A guy was lonely and so he decided life would be more fun if he had a pet. So he went to…
  • Default Image

    Textbook For Sale

    Cards offering used textbooks for sale are posted on the college notice board at the…
  • Default Image

    Are We There Yet?

    The little old lady seated herself right behind the bus driver. Every ten minutes or so…
  • Default Image

    Herd Of Cows

    A young man visiting a dude ranch wanted to be "Macho," and went out walking with one of…
  • Default Image

    Kissing Son

    I was in line at a restaurant. In front of me was a mother with her college-age son and…
  • Default Image

    Great Eyesight

    An old man was a witness in a burglary case. The defence lawyer asked Sam, "Did you see…
  • Default Image

    Grandma and Computer

    The computer's swallowed grandmaYes' honestly' its true.She pressed 'control' and…
  • Default Image

    Priceless Grandparent Stories - Part 1

    1. After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a…
  • Picture of Pulled Over By Police Car

    Ticketing Mom?

    Thanks to Kathy Edwards for submitting this true story. She wrote, "Pastor Tim, This…
  • Default Image

    Bump Start

    About five years ago the battery in my beat-up VW Beetle had died because I left the…
  • Default Image

    Walking on Water

    Bob, the goober, heard a rumor that his father, grandfather and great-grandfather had all…
  • Default Image

    IBA

    A South American scientist from Argentina, after a lengthy study, has discovered that…

It started out innocently enough.  I began to think at parties now and then to loosen up.  Inevitably though, one thought led to another, and soon I was more than just a social thinker.

I began to think alone - "to relax," I told myself - but I knew it wasn't true.

Thinking became more and more important to me, and finally I was thinking all the time.  I began to think on the job.  I knew that thinking and employment don't mix, but I couldn't stop myself.

I began to avoid friends at lunchtime so I could read Thoreau and Kafka.  I would return to the office dizzied and confused, asking, "What is it exactly we are doing here?"

Things weren't going so great at home either.  One evening I had turned off the TV and asked my wife about the meaning of life.  She spent that night at her mother's.

I soon had a reputation as a heavy thinker.  One day the boss called me in.  He said, "I like you, and it hurts me to say this, but your thinking has become a real problem.  If you don't stop thinking on the job, you'll have to find another job."

This gave me a lot to think about.

I came home early after my conversation with the boss.  "Honey," I confessed, "I've been thinking..."

"I know you've been thinking," she said, "and I want a divorce!"

"But Honey, surely it's not that serious."

"It is serious," she said, lower lip aquiver.

"You think as much as college professors, and college professors don't make any money, so if you keep on thinking we won't have any money!"

"That's a faulty syllogism," I said impatiently, and she began to cry.
I'd had enough.  "I'm going to the library," I snarled as I stomped out the door.  I headed for the library, in the mood for some Nietzsche.  I roared into the parking lot and ran up to the big glass doors...  they didn't open.  The library was closed.  As I sank to the ground clawing at the unfeeling glass, whimpering for Zarathustra, a poster caught my eye.  "Friend, is heavy thinking ruining your life?"
it asked.  You probably recognize that line.  It comes from the standard Thinkers Anonymous poster.

Which is why I am what I am today: a recovering thinker.  I never miss a TA meeting.

At each meeting we watch a non-educational video; last week it was "Porky's."

Then we share experiences about how we avoided thinking since the last meeting.  I still have my job, and things are a lot better at home.
Life just seemed...  easier, somehow, as soon as I stopped thinking.

Powered By JFBConnect