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More Jokes

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    Paper View

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    Vice President Pride

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    You Know You're Growing Old When...

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    Homework Excuses

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    'Twas the Night Before Finals

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    Questions Asked at National Parks

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    The Tie

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    Teapot Computer

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    Even More Cute Kids

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    Watermelon Mistake

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    Tongue and Eggs

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    Religious Lady On Plane

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    Wheat Exports

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The following quotes were allegedly taken from actual medical records as dictated by physicians:

~ By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped and he was feeling better.

~ On the second day, the knee was better and on the third day it had completely disappeared.

~ The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1983.

~ Patient was released to outpatient department without dressing.

~ Discharge status: Alive but without permission.

~ The patient refused an autopsy.

~ The patient expired on the floor uneventfully.

~ The patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.

~ She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December.

~ The patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

~ She is numb from the toes down.

~ The skin was moist and dry.

~ When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.

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