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    Amish Bumper Sticker

    While driving in Pennsylvania, a family caught up to an Amish carriage with the following…
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    New Pet

    A man was driving down a country road when he saw a baby pig along side the road. He…
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    Forgive Your Enemies

    The preacher, in his Sunday sermon, used "Forgive Your Enemies" as his subject. After a…
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    Largest Amphibious Assault

    I had been teaching my seventh-graders about World War II, and a test question was, "What…
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    Best Man

    A college senior took his new girlfriend to a football game. The young couple found seats…
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    Men, Dogs, Women

    1. How Dogs and Men Are the Same Both take up too much space on the bed.Both have…
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    Shott Versus Nott

    A duel was fought between Alexander Shott and John Nott. Nott was shot and Shott was not.…
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    Burglary

    The detective was interviewing the man whose clothing shop had just been burglarized.…
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    Empty Nest Syndrome

    You know you are suffering from "Empty Nest Syndrome" if..... You have thrown out the…
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    Screaming patient

    A woman went to doctors the office. She was seen by one of the new doctors, but after…
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    Finch Flush

    When my youngest son was three years old, one of his finches died. It was winter so we…
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    The ABC Song

    Customer: “Hey, can you help me find this book?” Me: “Sure.” (He holds up a piece of…
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    Goober Olympic Questions

    Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the…
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    No More Gators

    While sports fishing off Melbourne Beach, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but…
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    Concert Lights

    My 14-year-old daughter, Maggie, and her best friend, Joannie are fans of 60's music.…

The following quotes were allegedly taken from actual medical records as dictated by physicians:

~ By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped and he was feeling better.

~ On the second day, the knee was better and on the third day it had completely disappeared.

~ The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1983.

~ Patient was released to outpatient department without dressing.

~ Discharge status: Alive but without permission.

~ The patient refused an autopsy.

~ The patient expired on the floor uneventfully.

~ The patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.

~ She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December.

~ The patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

~ She is numb from the toes down.

~ The skin was moist and dry.

~ When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.

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