The following quotes were allegedly taken from actual medical records as dictated by physicians:
~ By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped and he was feeling better.
~ On the second day, the knee was better and on the third day it had completely disappeared.
~ The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1983.
~ Patient was released to outpatient department without dressing.
~ Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
~ The patient refused an autopsy.
~ The patient expired on the floor uneventfully.
~ The patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.
~ She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December.
~ The patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
~ She is numb from the toes down.
~ The skin was moist and dry.
~ When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.