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More Jokes

  • restaurant meal3

    Diamond Assumption

    An acquaintance of mine, whose daughter was about to be married, decided to give her a…
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    Party Advice

    A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. Their conversation was constantly…
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    Summer Job Hunt

    My brother wants me to find him a summer job. He asked me to check with my boss, my…
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    You Look Tired

    A coworker told me that I looked tired. "I am," I said. "I just finished 50 push-ups."…
  • movie seats

    Things You Would Never Know Without the Movies

    - It is always possible to park directly outside any building you are visiting. - A…
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    Murphy's Laws on Computers

    *Murphy's Laws on Computers*- As soon as you delete a worthless file, you'll need it.-…
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    Elderly Couple Sharing

    A young man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at McDonald's. He noticed that…
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    Talking in Your Sleep

    A wife and husband both talked in their sleep. She loved auctions; his hobby was golf.The…
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    Eye Contact

    A customer wanted to ask his attractive waitress for a date, but couldn't get her…
  • Wedding Day Truths

    From the Beginning

    My Dad and I were talking the other night about love and marriage. He told me that he…
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    Time Off

    Two factory workers were talking. "I know how to get some time off from work." said the…
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    Party Favor

    After classical violinist Fritz Kreisler was invited to a society party, the hostess…
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    Away From His Desk

    As the boss was leaving the office to play golf, he instructed his secretary to tell all…
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    Seen This?

    I had trouble with the idea of turning 30 and was oversensitive to any signs of advancing…
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    Surgeon Feedback

    Surgeons invited to dinner parties are often asked to carve the meat -- or worse yet, to…

microphoneDumb Sports Quotes

*"And here's Moses Kiptanui, the 19 year old Kenyan, who turned 20 a few weeks ago." 
(David Coleman)

*"Its a great advantage to be able to hurdle with both legs." 
(David Coleman)

*"We now have exactly the same situation as we had at the start of the race, only exactly the opposite." 
(Murray Walker)

*Jimmy Hill: "Don't sit on the fence Terry. What chance do you think Germany has of getting through? 
Terry Venables: "I think it's 50-50."

*"I was in a no-win situation, so I'm glad that I won rather than lost."
(Frank Bruno)

*"There is Brendan Foster, by himself, with 20,000 people." 
(David Coleman)

*"The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical." 
(Murray Walker)

*"I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father." 
(Greg Norman)

*"There have been injuries and deaths in boxing, but none of them serious."
(Alan Minter)

*"Watch the time. It gives you an indication of how fast they are running."
(Ron Pickering)

*"That's inches away from being millimeter perfect." 
(Ted Lowe)

*"The Queen's Park Oval, exactly as its name suggests, is absolutely round."
(Tony Crozier)

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