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    The 3 stages of man

    The 3 stages of man:He believes in Santa Claus.He doesn't believe in Santa Claus.He is…
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    Paper Eater

    A minister delivered a sermon in ten minutes one Sunday morning, which was about half the…
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    $0.00

    In March 1992 a man living in Newtown near Boston Massachusetts received a bill for his…
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    Let Sleeping Dogs Lie

    One afternoon, I was in the backyard hanging the laundry when an old, tired-looking dog…
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    Not-So-Bright People

    AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked "intellectual…
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    Divider Return

    I was checking out at the local Albertsons with just a few items and the lady behind me…
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    Career Choice

    A father is asked by his friend, "Has your son decided what he wants to be when he grows…
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    Jury Duty Prejudice

    A man was chosen for jury duty who very much wanted to be dismissed from serving. He…
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    Seniors' Special

    We went to breakfast at a restaurant where the "Seniors' Special" was two eggs, bacon,…
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    Excerpts from A Dog's Diary

    Excerpts from A Dog's Diary:Day number 1808:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!9:30 am…
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    The Cautious Pilot

    Taxiing down the tarmac, a jetliner abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the…
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    Bear Hunting

    Two men went bear hunting. While one stayed in the cabin, the other went out looking for…
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    Ravine Golfing

    One lovely morning, Ben and Thomas were out golfing.Ben sliced his ball deep into a…
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    104 Year Best

    Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing…
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    Jar 47

    A new doctor had arrived in town. He could cure anything and anybody. Everyone was amazed…

I was recovering from surgery when a charity representative phoned asking me to take part in a door-to-door fund-raising effort. "Sorry," I replied, "but I've been incapacitated."

Undaunted, the caller kept trying to convince me to change my mind and volunteer.

I interrupted and said, "I'm incapacitated. Do you know what that means?"

She hesitated. "It means your head was cut off?"

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