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    3 eggs - 50 years

    A newly ordained preacher and his young wife were talking about being more considerate of…
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    Emergency Visit

    A woman rushes to see her doctor, looking very much worried and all strung out.She…
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    Parking Space Sign Language

    After driving up and down several lanes, I finally found a parking spot at the shopping…
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    Words Per Day

    Abraham was reading an article out loud to his wife. "Did you know that women use about…
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    Stone's Throw

    A vacationer e-mailed a seaside hotel to ask its location."It's only a stone's throw away…
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    Truck-Stop Harassment

    A grizzled old man was eating in a truck stop when three Hell's Angels bikers walked in.…
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    Car Warning

    A husband, the owner of a new car, was somewhat reluctant to allow his wife to drove his…
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    Fishy Dinner

    A friend hosted a dinner party for people from work and everyone was encouraged to bring…
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    Daytime Television

    A newspaper reporter was writing a feature story about prison life and was interviewing…
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    Personalized Plate

    While waiting in line at the Department of Vehicle Services for my personalized license…
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    Doctor Visit

    A guy walks into a Doctor's office. He has a sausage coming out of his ear, a waffle out…
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    Accents

    About a year ago my sister, who lives in Virginia, was talking with her four year old…
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    Delete Button

    Unfortunately, we humans do not come equipped with delete buttons for our mouths.My…
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    Chair Philosophy

    An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one question final exam after a semester dealing…
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    Career Cooling

    Once I worked as an operator on an old IBM 370/Model 138 mainframe at a local college. My…

I was recovering from surgery when a charity representative phoned asking me to take part in a door-to-door fund-raising effort. "Sorry," I replied, "but I've been incapacitated."

Undaunted, the caller kept trying to convince me to change my mind and volunteer.

I interrupted and said, "I'm incapacitated. Do you know what that means?"

She hesitated. "It means your head was cut off?"

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