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    Things I've Learned From My Children

    *Things I've Learned From My Children* 01. A king size waterbed holds enough water to…
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    Facilities Memo

    My colleagues and I recently received this email from the facilities department:"Due to…
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    Intelligence

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…
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    Flight Fear

    Our co-worker kept trying to get her mother to fly out for a visit. "No way am I getting…
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    104 Year Best

    Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing…
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    Transcribing Confusion

    We were thoroughly confused. While transcribing medical audiotapes, my co-worker came…
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    Signs that the Starship Enterprise is Nearing the End of It's Warranty

    - Impulse engines stall when used in reverse.- Digital speedometer on helm console stuck…
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    Just A Kiss Per Yard

    Walking up to a department store's fabric counter, a pretty girl asked, "I want to buy…
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    In the Fitting Room

    My girlfriend took her five-year-old daughter shopping with her. The little girl watched…
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    Tips For The Clueless

    Some Tips for the Clueless If you're bidding on a job for UPS, don't send your bid by…
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    Parking Lot Speed Limit

    Safety is a major concern at the manufacturing company where I work. So I'm constantly…
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    Prescription Fail

    A gentleman was having some physical problems and his doctor told him that he had to…
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    Reasons You Should Buy a New Car

    Reasons You Should Buy a New Car:- Your passenger seat is on the National Register of…
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    Goober Farmers

    There were two farmers, neither one had much common sense. They were told by the Forman…
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    Dog Review

    A man follows a woman out of a movie theatre. She has a dog on a leash.He stops her and…

I was recovering from surgery when a charity representative phoned asking me to take part in a door-to-door fund-raising effort. "Sorry," I replied, "but I've been incapacitated."

Undaunted, the caller kept trying to convince me to change my mind and volunteer.

I interrupted and said, "I'm incapacitated. Do you know what that means?"

She hesitated. "It means your head was cut off?"

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