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    Prison Joke Book

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    Hi Tech Watch

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    Moving Labels

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    The Gift

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    Alternative Baptism

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    Last Minute Suggestions

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    Procrastinator's Creed

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    Some Wacky Definitions

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    Parachute Charity

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    Campaign Funding

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    Grandpa's Gift

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    Helping Mom

    A little while after my mother was widowed, it became apparent that she was unable to…

cat lying downPolitically correct terms for cat owners:

- My cat does not barf hairballs, he is a floor/rug re-decorator.

- My cat does not break things, she helps gravity do its job.

- My cat does not fear dogs, they are merely sprint practice tools.

- My cat does not gobble, she eats with alacrity.

- My cat does not scratch, he is a furniture/rug/skin ventilator.

- My cat is not a "shedding machine," she is a hair relocation stylist.

- My cat is not a "treat-seeking missile," she enjoys the proximity of food.

- My cat is not a chatterbox, she is advising me on what to do next.

- My cat is not a dope addict, she is catnip appreciative.

- My cat is not a ruthless hunter, she is a wildlife control expert.

- My cat is not evil, she is badness enhanced.

- My cat is not fat, he is mass enhanced.

- My cat is not hydrophobic, she has an inability to appreciate moisture.

- My cat is not underfoot, she is shepherding me to my next destination
(which should always be the food dish).

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