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    Math Symbols

    While reviewing math symbols with my second-grade pupils, I drew a greater-than ( > ) and…
  • olive oil

    Oily Hair

    Trying to control my dry hair, I treated my scalp with olive oil before washing it.…
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    The Vending Machine

    A goober named Laura is at a local zoo and comes across a vending machine, which she has…
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    Without Glasses

    Soon after our last child left home for college, my husband was resting next to me on the…
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    2 Words

    A man joined the priesthood. The order he joined could not speak for seven years. Then…
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    Speeding Stories

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    Soccer Quotes

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  • dog lazy

    Dog Tricks

    *Mind Games You Can Play with Your Humans* 1. After your humans give you a bath, DON'T…
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    Cough Remedy

    The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against the wall. The…
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    How High Is It?

    An Engineering Student, a Physics Student, and a Mathematics student were each given $150…
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    Need a Pen?

    A patient at the dental office where I was a receptionist stopped by my desk to pay her…
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    College Nerves

    While touring the University with some college-bound friends, I saw an advertisement that…
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    Goober Golf Dispute

    Two goobers were starting a round of Golf together. On the first tee, the first guy…
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    Super Golfball

    Two friends went out to play golf and were about to tee off, when one fellow noticed that…
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    Stockbroker's Secretary

    The stockbroker's secretary answered his phone one morning."I'm sorry," she said, "Mr.…

cat lying downPolitically correct terms for cat owners:

- My cat does not barf hairballs, he is a floor/rug re-decorator.

- My cat does not break things, she helps gravity do its job.

- My cat does not fear dogs, they are merely sprint practice tools.

- My cat does not gobble, she eats with alacrity.

- My cat does not scratch, he is a furniture/rug/skin ventilator.

- My cat is not a "shedding machine," she is a hair relocation stylist.

- My cat is not a "treat-seeking missile," she enjoys the proximity of food.

- My cat is not a chatterbox, she is advising me on what to do next.

- My cat is not a dope addict, she is catnip appreciative.

- My cat is not a ruthless hunter, she is a wildlife control expert.

- My cat is not evil, she is badness enhanced.

- My cat is not fat, he is mass enhanced.

- My cat is not hydrophobic, she has an inability to appreciate moisture.

- My cat is not underfoot, she is shepherding me to my next destination
(which should always be the food dish).

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