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  • bank

    Break Even

    Two men are in a bank when armed robbers break in. One robber rushes the teller windows,…
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    Flight Booking

    After booking my 80-year-old grandmother on a flight from Florida to Nevada, I called the…
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    White Gloves

    Frequent hand washing in my job as a medical technologist and the harsh weather combined…
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    Comedians' Convention

    Someone brought a visitor and the new fellow sat fascinated as the funnymen shouted out…
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    Definition of a Bar-B-Que

    Definition of a Bar-B-QueIt's the only type of cooking a real man will do. When a man…
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    Dispatch Message

    One night at McCord Air Force Base, I was dispatched to check out the security fence…
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    Thank-you Notes

    One Christmas, a parent decreed that she was no longer going to remind her children of…
  • front porch

    The Good Night Kiss

    At the end of their first date, a young man takes the girl back to her home. Emboldened…
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    Feeding Shamu

    At Sea World, our grandson absolutely refused to see the show featuring Shamu the killer…
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    What Don't You Have?

    An elderly man went to the doctor for a visit. "Doc," he says," I am so stricken. I have…
  • Picture of a student pilot

    Tips For Student Pilots

    Tips for student pilots. 1. Takeoffs are optional. Landings are mandatory. 2. If you push…
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    Meet the Parents

    A young man looking to get married asked his friend. "Every woman I bring home to meet my…
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    Executive Approval

    For many years I worked as a receptionist and switchboard operator at a busy company.…
  • roofers

    Cinderoofer

    When my children received the video of Cinderella as a summer gift, they watched it…
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    Updated Punishment

    "When I was a youngster," complained the frustrated father, shaking his head, "I was…

10. "Did anyone think about bringing a couple of umbrellas?"

9. "Hey, there are more than two flies in here!"

8. "Wasn't someone supposed to put two shovels on board?"

7. "OK, who's the wise-guy who brought the mosquitoes on board?"

6. "Help! I need some Pepto for the elephants, QUICK!"

5. "Don't Make Me Pull This Ark Over And Come Back There!"

4. "No Ham, you cannot eat the Pig!"

3. "And whatever you do, DO NOT pull this plug out."

2. "Nice Doggie!"

AND THE NUMBER ONE THING OVERHEARD ON NOAH'S ARK.....

1. "Are We There Yet?"

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