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More Jokes

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    Appendix Worry

    Old Jacob Johnson, raging hypochondriac, was convinced that the pain on his left side was…
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    Work Show and Tell

    Stopping to pick up my daughter at kindergarten, I found out that the topic of show and…
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    Diet Additive

    During one of our weekly weight-loss classes, the group leader was extolling the merits…
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    Dial A Prayer Twist

    They have a Dial-a-Prayer for atheists now. You can call up and it rings and rings but…
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    Four Little Words

    Heather and Marcy hadn't seen each other in awhile, so they decided to meet for lunch.…
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    Goober Computer Virus

    You have just received the Goober Computer Virus.Because we don't know how to program…
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    Doctor's Advice

    A young man, fresh out of college, went to see his doctor one day. "Doc, there's…
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    Boy Scout Tips

    A Scout Master was teaching his boy scouts about survival in the desert. "What are the…
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    Library Lost and Found

    Arriving back at the dorm late one evening, my roommate explained that she had gotten…
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    Gravity Situation

    I saw a report recently, about how gravity, which is a non-renewable resource, is…
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    Home Mechanic Tools

    Home Mechanics Tools and their usage: HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the…
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    Wakeup Fight

    Following an especially angry argument, Mr. and Mrs. Smith went to bed not speaking to…
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    Goober Vacuum

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…
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    What Happened

    "What happened?" asked the hospital visitor to the heavily bandaged man sitting up in…
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    Family Records

    The following was overheard at a recent high society party..."My ancestry goes all the…

Man injured by fallen raccoon

A couple of goobers in a pickup truck drove into a lumberyard.  One goober walked in the office and said, "We need some four-by-twos."

The clerk said, "You mean two-by-fours, don't you?"

The man said, "I'll go check," and went back to the truck.  He returned a minute later and said, "Yeah, I meant two-by-fours."

"Alright.  How long do you need them?"

The customer paused for a minute and said, "I'd better go check."

After awhile, the customer returned to the office and said, "A long time.  We're gonna build a house."

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