More Jokes

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    Today I didn't Do It

    One afternoon a man came home from work to find total mayhem in his house. His three…
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    Waiting at the Door

    I was hospitalized for a few days, and my wife reported that my dog really missed me.…
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    Truth About Children

    Truth About Children: - A baby usually wakes up in the wee-wee hours of the morning. - A…
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    Whisper Shock

    When my older brother was very young, he always walked up to the church altar with my…
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    School Curlers

    ONE MORNING I was called to pick up my son at the school nurse's office. When I walked…
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    Allleeeee Oooop

    A champion jockey is about to enter an important race on a new horse. The horse's trainer…
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    Hand Signals

    A Florida officer pulls over an eighty-year-old teacher because her hand signals were…
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    Dryer Message

    As a lobbyist in Washington, DC, I'd just finished up a meeting with a Congressman when I…
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    Unique Breakfast

    A man observed a sign in the window of a restaurant that read Unique Breakfast, so he…
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    Goober Nails

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…
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    One Room School

    The board of education in a nearby town sold off a building that had been a one-room…
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    Home Maid Cure

    A business executive injured his leg skiing one weekend. By the time he got home Sunday,…
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    Tips rejected by Martha Stewart

    Old telephone books make ideal personal address books. Simply cross out the names and…
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    Memory Clinic

    Two elderly couples were enjoying friendly conversation when one of the men asked the…
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    Buying Shoes

    A man walks into a shoe store, and tries on a pair of shoes. "How do they feel?" asks the…

Man injured by fallen raccoon

A couple of goobers in a pickup truck drove into a lumberyard.  One goober walked in the office and said, "We need some four-by-twos."

The clerk said, "You mean two-by-fours, don't you?"

The man said, "I'll go check," and went back to the truck.  He returned a minute later and said, "Yeah, I meant two-by-fours."

"Alright.  How long do you need them?"

The customer paused for a minute and said, "I'd better go check."

After awhile, the customer returned to the office and said, "A long time.  We're gonna build a house."

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