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More Jokes

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    Sorry I'm Late Mom

    Late one Saturday evening, I was awakened by the ringing of my phone. In a sleepy grumpy…
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    After Me

    "I have to have a raise," the man said to his boss. "Three companies are after me." "Is…
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    Mummy Heart Failure

    An archaeologist was digging in the Negev Desert in Israel and came upon a casket…
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    Grandmother on the Stand

    A small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand in a trial--a…
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    Goat for Dinner

    The young couple invited their elderly pastor for Sunday dinner. While they were in the…
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    Young Guy's "BG"

    At Andersen Air Force Base, Guam, a man in civilian clothes approached an airman and…
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    Quickest Way to York

    A man approached a local person in a village he was visiting. "What's the quickest way to…
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    The Night Shift

    A man got a job as a night watchman at a factory. There had been a lot of thefts by the…
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    More Murphy's Laws of Law Enforcement

    To err is human, just do it in front of as few people as possible! Anyone that flirts…
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    Hot Fishing Spot

    Two goobers go fishing. They catch a lot of fish and return to the shore. 1st goober: I…
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    Cat's Guide For Human Care

    More Excerpts from "The Cat's Guide To Caring For Your Human. Cats are beautiful,…
  • Race horses talking in the stable

    Race Horses in a Stable

    Some race horses are staying in a stable when one of them starts to boast about his track…
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    Late Arrival

    A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells "You should have been here at 8:30!"He…
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    Reading Problem

    A patient came to me to discuss her nine year old son who was having difficulty reading.…
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    Someone At The Door

    A priest is walking down the street one day when he notices a very small boy trying to…

Man injured by fallen raccoon

A couple of goobers in a pickup truck drove into a lumberyard.  One goober walked in the office and said, "We need some four-by-twos."

The clerk said, "You mean two-by-fours, don't you?"

The man said, "I'll go check," and went back to the truck.  He returned a minute later and said, "Yeah, I meant two-by-fours."

"Alright.  How long do you need them?"

The customer paused for a minute and said, "I'd better go check."

After awhile, the customer returned to the office and said, "A long time.  We're gonna build a house."

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