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  • doctor3

    Can Cure

    A man went to see his doctor because he was suffering from a miserable cold. His doctor…
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    Check Up

    A man goes to a doctor for a physical checkup.The nurse starts with certain basic items.…
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    Drag Racing Moped

    A hip young man goes out and buys the best car available: a 2005 Turbo Z123DX. It is the…
  • Owl Jokes

    Owl Friend

    Each evening bird lover Tom stood in his backyard, hooting like an owl - and one night,…
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    Dear Abby, Dear Reader

    Dear Abby, I have a man I never could trust. He cheats so much on me I'm not even sure…
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    Three Important Words

    At my granddaughter's wedding, the DJ polled the guests to see who had been married…
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    Important Political Decisions

    As a recent high-school graduate, I traveled to our state capitol and got to visit the…
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    New Apartment

    A property manager of single-family residence was showing a unit to prospective tenants…
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    Dough Boy Drive By

    WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER (really from the Associated Press) Linda Burnett, 23, was…
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    Church Visit

    My grandson, Justin, returned from his first time in church and was asked how it went.He…
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    Running Away

    A man scolded his son for being so unruly and the child rebelled against his father. He…
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    Microsoft TV Dinner

    Instructions for Microsoft's TV Dinner:You must first remove the plastic cover. By doing…
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    $100.00 Please

    A little boy, who wanted $100.00 very badly, prayed for two weeks but nothing happened.…
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    Tourist Questions

    Here are some of the "All Time Dumbest Questions Asked by Banff Park Tourists"On…
  • picture of a wedding dress

    The Wedding Dress

    Betty was soon to be married. More than anything, she wanted to wear the wedding dress…

Man injured by fallen raccoon

A couple of goobers in a pickup truck drove into a lumberyard.  One goober walked in the office and said, "We need some four-by-twos."

The clerk said, "You mean two-by-fours, don't you?"

The man said, "I'll go check," and went back to the truck.  He returned a minute later and said, "Yeah, I meant two-by-fours."

"Alright.  How long do you need them?"

The customer paused for a minute and said, "I'd better go check."

After awhile, the customer returned to the office and said, "A long time.  We're gonna build a house."

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