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More Jokes

  • Last Minute Turkey

    Last Minute Turkey

    It's the day before Thanksgiving and the butcher is just locking up when a man pounds on…
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    First I Got

    Elmer says, "First, I got tonsillitis, followed by appendicitis and pneumonia. After that…
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    Astute Visionaries?

    "Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons."--Popular Mechanics,…
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    Prenatal Visit

    A couple was making their first visit to Dr. Mike Wilson prior to the birth of their…
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    Dress Code for Seniors

    Despite what you may have seen on the streets, the following combinations DO NOT go…
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    Army Fib

    While my six-year-old daughter of the space age and I were reviewing some old…
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    Religious Lady On Plane

    There was a religious lady that had to do a lot of traveling for her business, so…
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    Priceless Grandparent Stories - Part 3

    11. Subject: Children's Logic: Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a…
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    Goodwill Offering

    During the last Sunday service that the visiting pastor was to spend at the church he…
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    Road Closed

    Signs warning of closed roadways are frequently ignored in rural Minnesota, so highway…
  • firetruck

    Brave Firefighters

    A fire started on some grassland near a farm in Indiana. The fire department from the…
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    The Grandma Test

    I was out walking with my 4-year-old granddaughter. She picked up something off the…
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    Young Love

    One night at the dinner table, the wife commented, "When we were first married, you took…
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    How to Make Life Simpler

    Old telephone books make ideal personal address books. Simply cross out the names and…
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    Because I Am A Guy

    Because I am A Guy... ..I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I…

Man injured by fallen raccoon

A couple of goobers in a pickup truck drove into a lumberyard.  One goober walked in the office and said, "We need some four-by-twos."

The clerk said, "You mean two-by-fours, don't you?"

The man said, "I'll go check," and went back to the truck.  He returned a minute later and said, "Yeah, I meant two-by-fours."

"Alright.  How long do you need them?"

The customer paused for a minute and said, "I'd better go check."

After awhile, the customer returned to the office and said, "A long time.  We're gonna build a house."

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