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More Jokes

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    Dead Faint

    The man passed out in a dead faint as he came out of his front door onto the porch.…
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    Chess Playing Dog

    A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing chess with his dog. He…
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    Academic Phrases and Meanings

    The following list of phrases and their definitions might help you understand the…
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    Knowing the Numbers

    The teacher asked one of her young students if he knew his numbers."Yes," he said. "I do.…
  • car w driver2

    Permitted To Learn

    As an instructor in driver education at the local area High School, I've learned that…
  • river

    Goober at the River

    You can find a picture of a goober at…
  • investing

    Investments

    STOCK: A magical piece of paper that is worth $33.75 until the moment you buy it. It will…
  • public speaking

    PTA Speakers

    As a traffic safety consultant, I often gave talks to organizations on accident…
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    For Sale Sign

    A real-estate agent was driving around with a new trainee when she spotted a charming…
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    Kitten Revival

    A mother looked out a window and saw Johnny playing church with their three kittens. He…
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    Things You Do Not Want To Hear In Surgery

    1.) Better save that.? We'll need it for the autopsy.2.) Somebody call the janitor -…
  • train station

    No Speaka Da German

    A few years ago, I decided to visit my brother who was stationed in Germany. I assumed…
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    Something Nice For Dad

    Unable to attend the funeral after his father died, a son who lived far away called his…
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    Sisters at the Superbowl

    Two elderly sisters donated $25 to a charity and, to their surprise, won tickets to the…
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    Lost in the Woods

    Two hunters got lost in the woods. The first hunter said, "Don't worry. All we have to do…

Man injured by fallen raccoon

A couple of goobers in a pickup truck drove into a lumberyard.  One goober walked in the office and said, "We need some four-by-twos."

The clerk said, "You mean two-by-fours, don't you?"

The man said, "I'll go check," and went back to the truck.  He returned a minute later and said, "Yeah, I meant two-by-fours."

"Alright.  How long do you need them?"

The customer paused for a minute and said, "I'd better go check."

After awhile, the customer returned to the office and said, "A long time.  We're gonna build a house."

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