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More Jokes

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    Ammunition Substantiation

    An infantry brigade was training in the summer heat, learning methods to counter…
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    Barbecue Forks

    As the coals from our barbecue burned down, our hosts passed out marshmallows and long…
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    Dad and Baby

    One day shortly after the birth of their new baby, the mother had to go out to do some…
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    Essay Woe

    CleanLaugh list member Richard Killey sent me this real life school note dilemma in…
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    Flossing

    As a dental hygienist, I always encourage patients to floss. During one cleaning, the…
  • Doctor helps wife with husband's snoring

    Financing Surgery

    A woman had a medical problem - her husband's snoring. So, she called the doctor one…
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    Top Ten Things You NEVER Want to Hear the Orkin Man Say

    10. "EEEEEKKK!!!!!!" 9. "Exterminator down! Exterminator down! Send backup!!!…
  • river

    Lunch On The Bank

    A pastor and two of his deacons are out on the river fishing in their rowboat. Twelve…
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    Birthday Wish

    A mother asked her small son what he would like for his birthday."I'd like a little…
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    Four Letter Surgery

    Jerry is recovering from day surgery when a nurse asks him how he is feeling."I'm ok but…
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    Historical Application

    Steinberg needs a job, and has no qualms about inventing the necessary qualifications to…
  • A funny joke about a dad and his son out fishing.

    Questions

    A man took his son fishing one day. After a few hours in the boat with not much to do,…
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    Overdrawn

    While waiting in line at the bank, a co-worker developed a very loud case of hiccups. By…
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    Goober Love Poem

    Collards is green my dog's name is Blue and I'm so lucky to have a sweet thang like you.…
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    Time Travel

    Unaware that Indianapolis is on Eastern Standard Time and Chicago on Central Standard…

Man injured by fallen raccoon

A couple of goobers in a pickup truck drove into a lumberyard.  One goober walked in the office and said, "We need some four-by-twos."

The clerk said, "You mean two-by-fours, don't you?"

The man said, "I'll go check," and went back to the truck.  He returned a minute later and said, "Yeah, I meant two-by-fours."

"Alright.  How long do you need them?"

The customer paused for a minute and said, "I'd better go check."

After awhile, the customer returned to the office and said, "A long time.  We're gonna build a house."

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