logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    Analogies and Metaphors

    These are actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays.- John and Mary had…
  • Default Image

    Lion Attack

    Two wildlife documentary film makers were filming a wild lion in Africa when they both…
  • movie seats

    More things you would never know without the movies

    The more a man and a woman hate each other, the more likely they will fall in love... The…
  • Default Image

    Hans Olaffsen's Laundry

    Walking through Chinatown, a tourist is fascinated with all the Chinese restaurants,…
  • Default Image

    Goober Exam

    The Goober reported for her University final examination, which consisted of"yes/no" type…
  • Default Image

    Census Taker

    An old man was sitting on his porch, when a young man walked up with a pad and pencil in…
  • Default Image

    Parrot Skills

    A man entered a pet shop, wanting to buy a parrot. The shop owner pointed out three…
  • Default Image

    Yellow Canaries

    A lady went to a pet shop."I'd like to buy two yellow canaries," she told the owner."We…
  • Default Image

    Getting Younger

    Old Sam Johnson goes to his doctor complaining of aches and pains all over his body.…
  • Default Image

    Caught Sleeping

    Just in case your boss catches you asleep at your desk, be ready to blurt out one of…
  • jeans

    Dress Code

    Employed by the human-development center of a corporation in the midwest, my friend…
  • 50 percent

    Senate Comeback

    A member of the Senate, known for his hot temper and acid tongue, exploded one day in…
  • a picture of a high-heel-shoe

    Shoe Cover-Up

    One day a man drove his secretary home after she fell quite ill at work. Although this…
  • Default Image

    Frog in Pocket

    A guy is taking a walk and sees a frog on the side of the road. As he comes closer, the…
  • Default Image

    Dirty Hands in Class

    A teacher sees a student entering the classroom, his hands are very dirty.She stopped him…

milk2I'm sure you've heard the old story referring to optimism and pessimism that is determined by whether you think the glass is half-empty or half-full. Here are the reactions when somebody leaves a half glass of milk next to the keyboard.

Optimist:
The glass is half full.

Pessimist:
The glass is half empty.

Apple Computer:
You guys really oughta be drinking Perrier.

Assembly programmers:
No thanks; I drink straight from the cow.

Basic programmers:
No thanks; I'm still breast-feeding.

Bill Gates:
Not enough market share to be Microsoft Milk.

C Programmers:
No thanks; I drink straight from the jug.

CIA:
What makes you think that's milk?

National news media:
Hey, we wanted OJ!

Non-procedural language programmers:
I drank it when nobody was looking.

NSA:
We know what it really is.

Pascal programmers:
Well, what type of milk is it?

Pentium users:
I drank Glass * .49999999 . . . but don't hold me to that.

Prolog programmers:
I know I drank it - just don't ask me how.

Copy protection crazies:
Somebody drank half my milk and didn't pay for it!

Feminist:
How come HIS glass is bigger than MINE?

Free Software Foundation:
That milk is the cow's contribution to all mankind!

Futurist:
The milk's in the wrong half of the glass.

Fuzzy logic guys:
I may or may not have drunk some part of that milk.

IBM:
Rent the glass from us and we'll fill it with something we know is good for you.

Idealist:
In a decent world, this glass would be filled to the brim and big enough for everyone to enjoy.

IRS:
Thanks for getting your milk withholding correct this year.

Mac users:
Where's my pump?

Schroedinger:
That stupid cat got into the milk again!

Security consultant:
Where'd the rest of the milk go?

Shareware game author:
That glass is free; the next one you have to pay for.

Powered By JFBConnect