Monthly Archive

"Why do they call it a drop cloth when the paint usually drops where the cloth ISN'T?" read more..

"Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid that someone will clean them?" read more..

"Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?" read more..

"Why don't tomb, comb, and bomb sound alike?" read more..

"Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips?" read more..

"Why is there an expiration date on my sour cream container?" read more..

"Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?" read more..

"With high-definition TV everything looks bigger and wider - kind of like going to your 25th high school reunion." read more..

"With sufficient thrust pigs fly just fine." read more..

"Would you like some cheese to go with that whine?" read more..

"You are not a kid anymore when you are obsessed with the thermostat."- Jeff Foxworthy read more..

"You are not a kid anymore when you are obsessed with the thermostat."~Jeff Foxworthy read more..

"You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar, assuming you want to catch flies." read more..

"You can train a cat to do anything it wants to do." read more..

"You know the kids are growing up when your daughter begins to put on lipstick and your son starts to wipe it off." read more..

"You know, I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realized that people didn't like me anyway." read more..

"You're getting old when getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot." read more..

"You've got to spend money to lose money." read more..

"You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood specifically to stir paint." read more..

“A baby sitter is a teenager acting like an adult while the adults are out acting like teenagers.”... read more..

“A bad day fishing is better than a good day at work.”... read more..

“A bus station is where a bus stops, a train station is where a train stops and on my desk I have a work station . . .”... read more..

“A friend of mine confused her Valium with her birth control pills...she has 10 kids but doesn't really care.”... read more..

“A key ring is a gadget that allows you to lose all your keys at once.”... read more..

“A penny saved is a government oversight.”... read more..

“A person who can smile when things go wrong has found someone to blame it on.”... read more..

“A watched clock never boils.”... read more..

“A woman's work is never done. So why bother?”... read more..

“All I want is a warm bed, a kind word, and unlimited power.”... read more..

“Allowance is what you pay your kids to live with you.”... read more..