Monthly Archive

“Allowance is what you pay your kids to live with you.”... read more..

“An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have - the older she gets the more interested he is in her.”... read more..

“Anuther grate mind ruened bi thu educashin sistym.”... read more..

“As a child, I was the kind my mother wouldn't let me play with.”... read more..

“As I learn the innermost secrets of the people around me, they reward me in many ways to keep me quiet.”... read more..

“As soon as I get some grip on reality, I'm going to choke it.”... read more..

“Ask me about my vow of silence.”... read more..

“Be different: conform.”... read more..

“Before you criticize someone, make sure you've walked a mile in their shoes. That way, you're a mile away AND you have their shoes!”... read more..

“Being vague is just as bad as that other thing.”... read more..

“Birds of a feather flock together and aim for your car.”... read more..

“Birthdays are good for you ... the more you have the longer you live.”... read more..

“Blessed are those who expect nothing, for they shall not be disappointed.”... read more..

“Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.”... read more..

“Bumper sticker on Wall Street: My other Porsche is for sale.”... read more..

“Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the drive before it has stopped snowing.”... read more..

“Computer message I'd like to see: Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.”... read more..

“Computers are not intelligent; they only think they are.”... read more..

“Confidence is that feeling you have just before you fully understand the situation.”... read more..

“Confidence is what you feel before you comprehend the situation.”... read more..

“Denial: How an optimist keeps from becoming a pessimist.”... read more..

“Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.”... read more..

“Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I drive by again?”... read more..

“Don't bother me; I'm living happily ever after.”... read more..

“Don't let people drive you crazy when you know it's in walking distance.”... read more..

“Employment applications always ask who is to be notified in case of an emergency; I think you should write "911"!”... read more..

“Everyone is entitled to my opinion.”... read more..

“Everyone is on this low-fat craze now; the Mayo Clinic just changed its name to the Balsamic Vinaigrette Clinic.”... read more..

“Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.”... read more..

“Experience: A comb life gives you after you lose your hair.”... read more..