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More Jokes

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    Broken Bone

    While leading a tour of kindergarten students through our hospital, I overheard a…
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    Are We There Yet?

    The little old lady seated herself right behind the bus driver. Every ten minutes or so…
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    Senior Citizen Discount

    "$5.37." That's what the kid behind the counter at Taco Bell said to me. I dug into my…
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    Doctor Keeps Trying

    A man went to see his doctor because he was suffering from a miserable cold. His doctor…
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    Dog House Rules Progression

    1. Dogs are never permitted in the house. The dog stays outside in a specially built…
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    Patient Problem

    When the new patient was settled comfortably on the couch, the psychiatrist began his…
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    Strange 911 Calls

    *Strange 911 Calls*A call came into 911 Emergency because two couples were going to share…
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    Perfect

    There was a perfect man who met a perfect woman. After a perfect courtship, they had a…
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    A Mother's Letter to Her Son

    A Mother's Letter to Her Son My Dear Son: Just a few lines to let you know I'm still…
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    Allleeeee Oooop

    A champion jockey is about to enter an important race on a new horse. The horse's trainer…
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    Goodwill Offering

    During the last Sunday service that the visiting pastor was to spend at the church he…
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    Diet Additive

    During one of our weekly weight-loss classes, the group leader was extolling the merits…
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    Letters of Recommendation

    If you have to write a "letter of recommendation" for a fired employee, here are a few…
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    50th Anniversary

    At my grandparents 50th wedding anniversary, I was looking through a photo album of their…
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    Strange Lawsuits

    An inmate filed a $5 million lawsuit against himself (he claimed that he violated his own…

1. I am currently out of the office at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Please be prepared for my mood.

2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.

3. Sorry to have missed you, but I'm at the doctor's having my brain and heart removed so I can be promoted to our management team.

4. I will be unable to delete all the e-mails you send me until I return from vacation. Please be patient, and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.

5. Thank you for your e-mail. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first 10 words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.

6. The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection. Your message has not been delivered. Please restart your computer and try sending again. (The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see who did this over and over and over....)

7. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

8. Hi, I'm thinking about what you've just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response.

9. I've run away to join a different circus.

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