More Jokes

  • curlers

    Hair Curlers

    My wife still uses curlers in her hair after she washes it. The other night she came into…
  • dog2

    10 Common Canine Complaints

    1. Building mounted fire hose connections are no substitute for a real hydrant. 2. "Why…
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    Pessimistic Friend

    An avid duck hunter was in the market for a new bird dog. His search ended when he found…
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    Other Uses for Fruitcake

    1. Paint a few white and place them outside on the grass so people won't park on your…
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    Eye Contact

    A customer wanted to ask his attractive waitress for a date, but couldn't get her…
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    Name Confusion

    Working at an airline ticket counter, I pulled up a passenger's reservation that showed…
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    Fearless Leader

    As a professor at Texas A & M, I taught during the day and did research at night. I would…
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    Church Visit

    My grandson, Justin, returned from his first time in church and was asked how it went.He…
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    Planning Ahead

    A woman decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, "Paint me with diamond…
  • Doctor helps wife with husband's snoring

    Financing Surgery

    A woman had a medical problem - her husband's snoring. So, she called the doctor one…
  • baby boy

    Johnny's Home

    After the dedication service of his baby brother in church, little Johnny sobbed all the…
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    ACTS 2:38

    This lady surprised a burglar in her kitchen. He was all loaded down with the things he…
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    Canterbury, England. AD 999. An atmosphere close to panic prevails today throughout…
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    Deck Praise

    I was working in the sun all day, putting finishing touches on the new deck outside my…
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    Sauce Control Center

    Becky prepared a pasta dish for a dinner party she was giving. In her haste, however, she…

1. I am currently out of the office at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Please be prepared for my mood.

2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.

3. Sorry to have missed you, but I'm at the doctor's having my brain and heart removed so I can be promoted to our management team.

4. I will be unable to delete all the e-mails you send me until I return from vacation. Please be patient, and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.

5. Thank you for your e-mail. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first 10 words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.

6. The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection. Your message has not been delivered. Please restart your computer and try sending again. (The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see who did this over and over and over....)

7. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

8. Hi, I'm thinking about what you've just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response.

9. I've run away to join a different circus.

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