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More Jokes

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    Cute Baby

    When we brought our new-born son to the pediatrician for his first checkup, the doctor…
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    Factory Supplies

    At the end of my factory shift, I was asked to purchase some supplies. The machines'…
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    Age Advice

    An enormously wealthy 65-year-old man falls in love with a young woman in her twenties…
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    Show and Tell

    I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but the best…
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    Passing Notes

    An elderly couple are attending a church service. About halfway through, she writes a…
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    Mom's Special Brownies

    "Mom's Special Brownies"Remove teddy bear from oven and preheat oven to 375.Melt 1 cup…
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    Signs of Banned Substances

    Signs That An Athlete Is Using A Banned Substance:Gets "psyched" before each competition…
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    Kitchen Help

    My brother-in-law came home to an empty house one day and decided he would start dinner.…
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    It's Not A Cat

    It's not a cat it's...A small, four-legged, fur-bearing extortionist.A wildlife control…
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    I Want To Be A Bear

    I want to be a bear...... If you're a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but…
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    Bachelor Cooking

    Two confirmed bachelors sat talking. Their conversation drifted from politics to cooking.…
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    Will She Say Yes?

    An extremely wealthy 65-year-old man falls in love with a young woman in her twenties and…
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    Chocolate Calories

    A good piece of chocolate has about 200 calories. As I enjoy 2 servings per night, and a…
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    Snack Costs

    My friends and I had joined a weight-loss organization. At one meeting the instructor…
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    Waiting For Years

    We had built our dream house some years ago, and furnished it with quality pieces as we…

1. I am currently out of the office at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Please be prepared for my mood.

2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.

3. Sorry to have missed you, but I'm at the doctor's having my brain and heart removed so I can be promoted to our management team.

4. I will be unable to delete all the e-mails you send me until I return from vacation. Please be patient, and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.

5. Thank you for your e-mail. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first 10 words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.

6. The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection. Your message has not been delivered. Please restart your computer and try sending again. (The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see who did this over and over and over....)

7. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

8. Hi, I'm thinking about what you've just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response.

9. I've run away to join a different circus.

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