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    Corporate Can-Do

    Programmer to Team Leader:"We can't do this proposed project. **CAN NOT** It will involve…
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    Flight Booking

    After booking my 80-year-old grandmother on a flight from Florida to Nevada, I called the…
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    Hickbonics

    The Association of Southern Schools has decided to pursue some of the seemingly endless…
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    Things My Mother Taught Me

    My Mother taught me LOGIC..."If you fall off that swing and break your neck, you can't go…
  • house3

    Secret Of Life

    A woman walking down a residential street, noticed a little old man rocking in a chair on…
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    Rodentially Clean

    Johnny, age 5, was being taught to be neat and clean and to pick up after himself. One…
  • doctor3

    Doctor's Writing

    Did you hear about the doctor who wrote out a prescription in the usual doctor's fashion?…
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    Seatmate Choice

    The plane was only half-full. When an attractive young woman asked if the seat next to…
  • investing

    Investments

    STOCK: A magical piece of paper that is worth $33.75 until the moment you buy it. It will…
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    Post Card Help

    A man writing at the post office desk was approached by an older fellow with a post card…
  • university

    Good Morning

    When I first started college, the Dean came in and said "Good Morning" to all of us. When…
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    40 Year Difference

    When I was a 20-something college student, I became quite friendly with my study partner,…
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    The Top 15 Lines You'll Never Hear in a Western

    15 "I reckon I'll have me a half-caf double latte with a twist."14 "Gentlemen, rather…
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    Smart Bus

    My name is Pastor Jerry Evenson. I pastor a small church in central Idaho on an Indian…
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    Shopping Advice

    While I was shopping in the mall with my three children, a display in the window of a…

1. I am currently out of the office at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Please be prepared for my mood.

2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.

3. Sorry to have missed you, but I'm at the doctor's having my brain and heart removed so I can be promoted to our management team.

4. I will be unable to delete all the e-mails you send me until I return from vacation. Please be patient, and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.

5. Thank you for your e-mail. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first 10 words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.

6. The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection. Your message has not been delivered. Please restart your computer and try sending again. (The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see who did this over and over and over....)

7. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

8. Hi, I'm thinking about what you've just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response.

9. I've run away to join a different circus.

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