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    The Lord's Prayer - Sort of

    A mother was teaching her three-year-old The Lord's Prayer. For several evenings at…
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    Lazy Cobbler

    A man went into a shoe repair store in his hometown that he had not been in for almost…
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    Dog Breeding Made Absurd

    ~ Pointer + Setter = Pointsetter, a traditional Christmas pet ~ Kerry Blue Terrier + Skye…
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    Gift Diamonds

    Morris ran into Jacob while shopping at the mall the other day in front of one of the…
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    Dependents

    A man submitting information to his income tax preparer was asked how many dependents he…
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    Stone's Throw

    A vacationer e-mailed a seaside hotel to ask its location."It's only a stone's throw away…
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    Signs Your Cat Is Too Fat

    Cat door retro-fitted with garage door opener. Confused guests constantly mistaking him…
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    Refrigerator Goals

    When I returned home from college for a break, I noticed a paper posted on the…
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    Shhhhhh!

    A father had three very active boys. One summer evening, he was playing cops and robbers…
  • accent boy

    Accents

    About a year ago my sister, who lives in Virginia, was talking with her four year old…
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    Breathe

    A lady on a commuter train was reading a newspaper article about life and death…
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    Funny Boss

    The boss returned from lunch in a good mood and called the whole staff in to listen to a…
  • Army march joke

    Morning March

    I was a new Army basic trainee at Fort McClellan, and one requirement was a demanding…
  • car theft

    Car Alarms

    I was with a friend in a cafe' when a noisy car alarm interrupted our conversation. "What…
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    More Too Much Coffee

    You know you've been drinking too much coffee when...You can take a picture of yourself…
* The parachute company says you'll get a full refund.

* They say the house didn't float very far at all.

* We're all amazed that you go on living each day.

* Well, at least the operation was a partial success.

* The "National Enquirer" just loved those pictures of you at work.

* The insects hardly touched your other eyebrow.

* The District Attorney says he only has a few more questions.

* Jerry Springer wants to surprise you on his show.

* The reward for your capture has reached fifty thousand dollars.

* At least we never thought you were guilty like that Jury did.

* The insurance pays the full book value ($312) for your 1956 T Bird.

* The thieves left the push lawn mower and hedge trimmers.

* Those Grand Juries always over-react. Don't worry about it.

* The boss said while you're sick, he'd do all your work personally.
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