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    ATM Correction

    My father began teaching business classes at the local prison through a community…
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    Control Seminar

    The company I work for sometimes puts on what they call "Lunch and Learn" seminars during…
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    Chemlite Arrival

    Nights in England are coal black, making parachute jumps very difficult. We attach small…
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    Burglar and Vicar

    A burglar broke into a minister's house and told the pastor, "One move and you're dead.…
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    Stone's Throw

    A vacationer e-mailed a seaside hotel to ask its location."It's only a stone's throw away…
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    Looking For The Lift

    As a concierge at a posh resort, I was often asked about the ski facilities. One day a…
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    Sick At Church

    Little Johnny was in church with his mom for Sunday Mass when he felt a sudden vomit…
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    Cub Reporter

    The newspaper editor was instructing the cub reporter in important details of his…
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    Scale Convention

    At the scale manufacturers' convention, people often wanted to weigh themselves on…
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    Talking Clock

    While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way…
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    New Car Warning

    A husband, the owner of a new car, was somewhat reluctant to allow his wife to drive his…
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    New Boots

    My first grade daughter and her friend both needed new boots as winter approached. The…
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    Coffee Delay

    In a rush to work one morning, I pulled up to the drive-through window at a fast-food…
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    Namesake Care

    While I was serving as a chief master sergeant at Barksdale Air Force Base in Bossier…
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    Mom's Time Out

    My Parents had not been out together in quite some time.One Saturday, as Mom was…
* The parachute company says you'll get a full refund.

* They say the house didn't float very far at all.

* We're all amazed that you go on living each day.

* Well, at least the operation was a partial success.

* The "National Enquirer" just loved those pictures of you at work.

* The insects hardly touched your other eyebrow.

* The District Attorney says he only has a few more questions.

* Jerry Springer wants to surprise you on his show.

* The reward for your capture has reached fifty thousand dollars.

* At least we never thought you were guilty like that Jury did.

* The insurance pays the full book value ($312) for your 1956 T Bird.

* The thieves left the push lawn mower and hedge trimmers.

* Those Grand Juries always over-react. Don't worry about it.

* The boss said while you're sick, he'd do all your work personally.
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