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More Jokes

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    I Just Can't Drive Today

    For the second time in a row, I was forced to impose on the woman with whom I carpooled…
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    Surgery Plan

    We were on our way to the hospital where our 16-year-old daughter was scheduled to…
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    The Toddler Diet

    Americans are always on the lookout for a new diet. The trouble with most diets is that…
  • mom and child

    Please and Thank You

    While on maternity leave, a woman from our office brought in her new bundle of joy. She…
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    No Frills Airlines

    ...they don't sell tickets, they sell chances. ...all the insurance machines in the…
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    Losing Load

    A trucker stops for red light and a goober girl catches up. She knocks on the door and…
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    Shirt Note

    The trendy dresser fancied himself quite a lady-killer, and was delighted to find a note…
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    Not For Lunch

    My husband retired, and for the first time in over 40 years I had to think about…
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    Meeting Invitation

    I was telling a friend about my enrollment in a weight-loss program and how excited I was…
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    Photo Radar

    A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured his speed…
  • handcuff

    Houdini Wannabe

    A deputy police officer responded to a report of a barroom disturbance. The "disturbance"…
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    24 Pigs

    A young lawyer, just out of Law School, was pleading his first case in South Carolina. A…
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    Things Not To Say or Do at a Job Interview

    ** See photo of interviewer's family on desk, point, start laughing uncontrollably.** Ask…
  • Tight Shoes

    Shoe Fit

    A man walks into a shoe store and tries on a pair of shoes. "How do they feel?" asks the…
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    Power Lesson

    A Sunday school teacher said to her children, "We have been learning how powerful kings…
IMPORTANT NOTICE: If you are one of hundreds of parachuting enthusiasts who bought our Easy Sky Diving book, please make the following correction: on page 8, line 7, the words "state zip code" should have read "pull rip cord."

Apology: I originally wrote, "Woodrow Wilson's wife grazed sheep on front lawn of the White House." I'm sorry that typesetting inadvertently left out the word "sheep."

In one edition of today's Food Section, an inaccurate number of jalapeno peppers was given for Jeanette Crowley's South-western chicken salad recipe.  The recipe should call for two, not 21, jalapeno peppers.

In the City Beat section of Friday's paper, firefighter Dwight Brady was misidentified. His nickname in the department is "Dewey." Another firefighter is nicknamed "Weirdo." We apologize for our mistake.

Our article about Jewish burial customs contained an error: Mourners' clothing is rent -- that is, torn -- not rented.

The marriage of Miss Freda van Amburg and Willie Branton, which was announced in this paper a few weeks ago, was a mistake which we wish to correct.

Sleeping on a Sealy Mattress is like sleeping on a cloud. Not clod.

It was incorrectly reported last Friday that today is T-shirt Appreciation Day. In fact, it is actually Teacher Appreciation Day.

In Frank Washburn's March column, Rebecca Varney was erroneously identified as a bookmaker. She is a typesetter.

There was a mistake in an item sent in two weeks ago which stated that Ed Burnham entertained a party at crap shooting. It should have been trap shooting.

Just to keep the record straight, it was the famous Whistler's Mother, not Hitler's, that was exhibited. There is nothing to be gained in trying to explain how this error occurred.

Correction -- the following typo appeared in our last bulletin: "Lunch will be gin at 12:15 p.m." Please correct to read "12 noon."

Our newspaper carried the notice last week that Mr. Oscar Hoffnagle is a defective on the police farce. This was a typographical error. Mr. Hoffnagle is, of course, a detective on the police farce.

In a recent edition, we referred to the chairman of Chrysler Corporation as Lee Iacoocoo. His real name is Lee Iacacca. The Gazette regrets the error.
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