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More Jokes

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    Zucchini Sign

    After harvesting the usual bumper crop of squash last year, I took a half-dozen to the…
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    Turtle Keeper

    Martin was a slow worker and found it difficult to hold down a job. After a visit to the…
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    Ahh, Tourists

    A lady on her first visit to Yellowstone National Park said to her guide, "Look at all…
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    Hymns vs. Choruses

    An old farmer went to the city one weekend and attended the big city church. He came home…
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    Living History Museum

    Marv took his family to visit a living history museum, which included seeing houses and…
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    Pilgrim Church

    Thanksgiving day was approaching, and the family received a Thanksgiving card with a…
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    Coin Test

    During class, the chemistry professor was demonstrating the properties of various acids.…
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    Rules for Choosing a Super Hero Name

    1. Don't call yourself by your real name: e.g., Ms. Jenny Pinchuck, The Amazing Stevie…
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    Tired of Rejection?

    Tired of being rejected for jobs - maybe this form letter will come in handy. Dear…
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    Forgetting Something

    A man was on his way home with a new car, which was absorbing all his attention, when it…
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    Memory Improvement

    I knew that as I was getting older, and finally able to admit it, certain things were…
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    Beautiful Name Tag

    Our favorite restaurant has a waitress whose name-tag reads "Beautiful." "Is that really…
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    Strangest Dream

    "I had the strangest dream last night," a man was telling his psychiatrist."I saw my…
  • book idea

    Some Wacky Definitions

    EGOCENTRIC: a person who believes he is everything you know you are. MAGAZINE: bunch of…
IMPORTANT NOTICE: If you are one of hundreds of parachuting enthusiasts who bought our Easy Sky Diving book, please make the following correction: on page 8, line 7, the words "state zip code" should have read "pull rip cord."

Apology: I originally wrote, "Woodrow Wilson's wife grazed sheep on front lawn of the White House." I'm sorry that typesetting inadvertently left out the word "sheep."

In one edition of today's Food Section, an inaccurate number of jalapeno peppers was given for Jeanette Crowley's South-western chicken salad recipe.  The recipe should call for two, not 21, jalapeno peppers.

In the City Beat section of Friday's paper, firefighter Dwight Brady was misidentified. His nickname in the department is "Dewey." Another firefighter is nicknamed "Weirdo." We apologize for our mistake.

Our article about Jewish burial customs contained an error: Mourners' clothing is rent -- that is, torn -- not rented.

The marriage of Miss Freda van Amburg and Willie Branton, which was announced in this paper a few weeks ago, was a mistake which we wish to correct.

Sleeping on a Sealy Mattress is like sleeping on a cloud. Not clod.

It was incorrectly reported last Friday that today is T-shirt Appreciation Day. In fact, it is actually Teacher Appreciation Day.

In Frank Washburn's March column, Rebecca Varney was erroneously identified as a bookmaker. She is a typesetter.

There was a mistake in an item sent in two weeks ago which stated that Ed Burnham entertained a party at crap shooting. It should have been trap shooting.

Just to keep the record straight, it was the famous Whistler's Mother, not Hitler's, that was exhibited. There is nothing to be gained in trying to explain how this error occurred.

Correction -- the following typo appeared in our last bulletin: "Lunch will be gin at 12:15 p.m." Please correct to read "12 noon."

Our newspaper carried the notice last week that Mr. Oscar Hoffnagle is a defective on the police farce. This was a typographical error. Mr. Hoffnagle is, of course, a detective on the police farce.

In a recent edition, we referred to the chairman of Chrysler Corporation as Lee Iacoocoo. His real name is Lee Iacacca. The Gazette regrets the error.
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