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    Paid For Standing

    The owner of a manufacturing firm decided to make a surprise tour of the factory. Walking…
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    Fish Heads

    A customer at Green's Gourmet Grocery marveled at the proprietor's quick wit and…
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    Enlisting Choices

    "Daddy," said my 11-year-old daughter, "I think I want to join the Army.""Baby," I…
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    Passing Notes

    An elderly couple are attending a church service. About halfway through, she writes a…
  • businessman blamed for long speech

    20 Minutes of Eternity

    The CEO was scheduled to speak at an important convention so he asked one of his…
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    Airport Mistletoe

    It was the beginning of December. The trip had gone reasonably well, and he was ready to…
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    Call Me Leroy

    Uncle Leroy got a job down at the broom factory. On his first day the straw boss (floor…
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    Nephew Caddy

    My five-year-old nephew wanted to caddy for my brother's golf game. "You have to count my…
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    Reap What You Sow

    Early one evening a gentleman scuttled out to his garage and pulled the lawn furniture…
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    Choruses vs Hymns

    young, new Christian went to his local small town church one weekend. He came home and…
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    CIA, FBI & LAPD

    The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD), The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove…
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    Lawyer Son

    When my mother was called for jury duty, she felt confident of her Ability to answer the…
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    Worthy Cause

    As a traffic safety consultant, I often gave talks on accident prevention. One night…
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    Vet Visit

    In his younger days our golden retriever Catcher often ran away when he had the chance.…
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    Found Purse

    As the bus pulled away, I realized I had left my purse under the seat. Later I called the…
IMPORTANT NOTICE: If you are one of hundreds of parachuting enthusiasts who bought our Easy Sky Diving book, please make the following correction: on page 8, line 7, the words "state zip code" should have read "pull rip cord."

Apology: I originally wrote, "Woodrow Wilson's wife grazed sheep on front lawn of the White House." I'm sorry that typesetting inadvertently left out the word "sheep."

In one edition of today's Food Section, an inaccurate number of jalapeno peppers was given for Jeanette Crowley's South-western chicken salad recipe.  The recipe should call for two, not 21, jalapeno peppers.

In the City Beat section of Friday's paper, firefighter Dwight Brady was misidentified. His nickname in the department is "Dewey." Another firefighter is nicknamed "Weirdo." We apologize for our mistake.

Our article about Jewish burial customs contained an error: Mourners' clothing is rent -- that is, torn -- not rented.

The marriage of Miss Freda van Amburg and Willie Branton, which was announced in this paper a few weeks ago, was a mistake which we wish to correct.

Sleeping on a Sealy Mattress is like sleeping on a cloud. Not clod.

It was incorrectly reported last Friday that today is T-shirt Appreciation Day. In fact, it is actually Teacher Appreciation Day.

In Frank Washburn's March column, Rebecca Varney was erroneously identified as a bookmaker. She is a typesetter.

There was a mistake in an item sent in two weeks ago which stated that Ed Burnham entertained a party at crap shooting. It should have been trap shooting.

Just to keep the record straight, it was the famous Whistler's Mother, not Hitler's, that was exhibited. There is nothing to be gained in trying to explain how this error occurred.

Correction -- the following typo appeared in our last bulletin: "Lunch will be gin at 12:15 p.m." Please correct to read "12 noon."

Our newspaper carried the notice last week that Mr. Oscar Hoffnagle is a defective on the police farce. This was a typographical error. Mr. Hoffnagle is, of course, a detective on the police farce.

In a recent edition, we referred to the chairman of Chrysler Corporation as Lee Iacoocoo. His real name is Lee Iacacca. The Gazette regrets the error.
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