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  • business timing

    You've Been in Corporate America Too Long When…

    You've Been in Corporate America Too Long When... 1. You ask the waiter what the…
  • book mystery

    Invitation

    Mrs. Jones was reading a letter at breakfast. Suddenly she looked up suspiciously at her…
  • soap bubbles

    Soap and Water

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    Restaurant Rating

    I was meeting a friend in a restaurant and as I went in, I noticed two pretty girls…
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    Amish At The Mall

    An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall for the first time. They were amazed by…
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    Computer One-liners - Part 2

    Computer One-liners - Part 2ISDN: I Still Don't kNowISDN: Idiot Services you Don't NeedIt…
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    Spelling Bee Confusing

    If GH can stand for P as in HiccoughIf OUGH stands for O as in DoughIf PHTH stands for T…
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    Kids' Letters to the President

    Dear Mr. President: How much money does the president make? Could you please write and…
  • store sign

    Don't Have Any

    A woman walks into a convenience store. She walks straight to the manager and asks, "Do…
  • Default Image

    Dear Dog

    Dear Dog,I am so sorry about you being sent to the dog pound for the broken lamp which…
  • Default Image

    Window Washer

    There was a gentleman in the hospital bed next to me. He was covered with bandages from…
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    Sheriff Vet

    The sheriff of a small town was also the town's veterinarian. One night the phone rang,…
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    Seeing Eye Dog

    A blind man is walking down the street with his seeing eye dog one day. When they come to…
  • Default Image

    Cowboy and The Preacher

    One Sunday a cowboy went to church. When he entered, he saw that he and the preacher were…
  • woman old

    I'm Aging Gracefully

    I'm the life of the party ... even when it lasts until 8 p.m I'm very good at opening…
IMPORTANT NOTICE: If you are one of hundreds of parachuting enthusiasts who bought our Easy Sky Diving book, please make the following correction: on page 8, line 7, the words "state zip code" should have read "pull rip cord."

Apology: I originally wrote, "Woodrow Wilson's wife grazed sheep on front lawn of the White House." I'm sorry that typesetting inadvertently left out the word "sheep."

In one edition of today's Food Section, an inaccurate number of jalapeno peppers was given for Jeanette Crowley's South-western chicken salad recipe.  The recipe should call for two, not 21, jalapeno peppers.

In the City Beat section of Friday's paper, firefighter Dwight Brady was misidentified. His nickname in the department is "Dewey." Another firefighter is nicknamed "Weirdo." We apologize for our mistake.

Our article about Jewish burial customs contained an error: Mourners' clothing is rent -- that is, torn -- not rented.

The marriage of Miss Freda van Amburg and Willie Branton, which was announced in this paper a few weeks ago, was a mistake which we wish to correct.

Sleeping on a Sealy Mattress is like sleeping on a cloud. Not clod.

It was incorrectly reported last Friday that today is T-shirt Appreciation Day. In fact, it is actually Teacher Appreciation Day.

In Frank Washburn's March column, Rebecca Varney was erroneously identified as a bookmaker. She is a typesetter.

There was a mistake in an item sent in two weeks ago which stated that Ed Burnham entertained a party at crap shooting. It should have been trap shooting.

Just to keep the record straight, it was the famous Whistler's Mother, not Hitler's, that was exhibited. There is nothing to be gained in trying to explain how this error occurred.

Correction -- the following typo appeared in our last bulletin: "Lunch will be gin at 12:15 p.m." Please correct to read "12 noon."

Our newspaper carried the notice last week that Mr. Oscar Hoffnagle is a defective on the police farce. This was a typographical error. Mr. Hoffnagle is, of course, a detective on the police farce.

In a recent edition, we referred to the chairman of Chrysler Corporation as Lee Iacoocoo. His real name is Lee Iacacca. The Gazette regrets the error.
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