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    Texas Vacation

    A couple was relating their vacation experiences to a friend. "It sounds as if you had a…
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    Grandpa's Manners

    "Grandpa, I'm really proud of you," said the modish young lady. "What's to be proud of?"…
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    Universal Solvent

    "The father was very proud when his son went off to college. He came to tour the school…
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    Eye Contact

    A customer wanted to ask his attractive waitress for a date, but couldn't get her…
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    Parking Solution

    A pastor of a two-church parish had to drive every Sunday morning about 4 miles from the…
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    Shopping On Up

    In a upscale department store, every night at closing time one of our customer-service…
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    Four Letter Words

    A young couple got married and left on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride…
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    Politically Correct Light Bulb

    "How many politically-correct people does it take to screw in a light-bulb?" "Look, I…
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    Cow Predictions

    A midwest farmer was describing his lifestyle to a touring group of city folks. "One of…
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    Bar Room Houdini

    A deputy police officer responded to a report of a barroom disturbance. The "disturbance"…
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    Gracie Allen's Classic Recipe for Turkey

    Gracie Allen's Classic Recipe for Turkey: Ingedients: - 1 large turkey - 1 small turkey…
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    Moving In Motivation

    My engineer husband is meticulous but mild-mannered. While our new house was being built,…
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    The End Of The World

    When the end of the world arrives how will the media report it? USA Today: WE'RE DEAD The…
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    Actual Signs

    Bucharest Hotel Lobby - "The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time you…
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    Preacher's Best Years

    A preacher, who shall we say was "humor impaired," attended a conference to help…

I was performing a complete physical, including the visual acuity test.

I placed the patient twenty feet from the chart and began, "Cover your right eye with your hand."  He read the 20/20 line perfectly.

"Now your left." Again, a flawless read.

"Now both," I requested. There was silence. He couldn't even read the large E on the top line.

I turned and discovered that he had done exactly what I had asked; he was standing there with both his eyes covered. I was laughing too hard to finish the exam.

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