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More Jokes

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    Mellowing Mom

    I have five siblings, three sisters and two brothers.One night I was chatting with my Mom…
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    Managing a Flag Pole

    A group of managers were given the assignment to measure the height of a flagpole. So…
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    List Management

    Here is the list member's response - which is today's CleanLaugh.First the explanation…
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    Brotherly Chores

    Drew and Timmy were brothers. One day Mom and Dad had to go into town. Dad told Drew,…
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    Bob's MG

    I was driving the other day and came up on a VW Beetle with a license plate reading 'BOBS…
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    Pig Call

    A church secretary takes a call. The caller says ,"Is the head hog at the trough…
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    Shopping On Up

    In a upscale department store, every night at closing time one of our customer-service…
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    Cell Phone Flight Call

    En route to Hawaii, I noticed one of my passengers in the coach section of the airplane…
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    Halloween Pun

    Bob Hill and his new wife, Betty, were vacationing in Europe -- as it happens, in…
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    Unknown Reindeer

    The game show contestant was only 200 points behind the leader and about to answer the…
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    Applause

    A famous football coach was on vacation with his family in Maine. When they walked into a…
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    Eggplant Sale

    A grocer put up a sign that read "Eggplants, 25ยข ea.--three for a dollar."All day long,…
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    Lesser Known Laws

    Okay, you've heard of Murphy's famous Law: Everything that can go wrong will go wrong.…
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    Time Management

    The church wanted to help their congregation cope better with the stresses of modern…
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    Hiring Slogans

    Beware of Companies With These Hiring Slogans:"JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY": We have no…

How hot is it?

  • The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.
  • The trees are whistling for the dogs.
  • The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
  • Hot water now comes out of both taps.
  • You can make sun tea instantly.
  • You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron.
  • The temperature drops below 95 and you feel a little chilly.
  • You discover that in August it only takes 2 fingers to steer your car.
  • You discover that you can get sunburned through your car window.
  • You actually burn your hand opening the car door.
  • You break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m.
  • Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"
  • You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
  • The potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.
  • Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying boiled eggs.
  • The cows are giving evaporated milk.
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