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More Jokes

  • Picture of Hong Kong Skyline

    English Subtitles

    The following are actual English subtitles used in films from Hong Kong. * I am darn…
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    Sunday Drive

    Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police…
  • child2

    Name That Baby

    When Diane found out she was pregnant, she told the good news to anyone who would listen.…
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    ID Card

    The day I immigrated to the United States, I was given an alien ID card that featured a…
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    Milk Switch

    To help a friend lose weight, I told her that she should switch to lower-fat foods,…
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    Tag Fad

    My teenager was headed to school one morning when I told him that the neck tag on his…
  • jeans

    The Gift That Keeps On Giving

    This is a really long item, but well worth the read! The one present Roy Collette wasn't…
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    Tech Smoke

    A guy rings tech support to report that his computer is faulty.Tech: What's the…
  • couple elderly

    Division of Labor

    The Rosenthals had an outstandingly happy and successful marriage, and Mr. Rosenthal was…
  • university building

    Chair Philosophy

    An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one question final exam after a semester dealing…
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    A Good Haircut

    Our supervisor recently made a casual comment about my shaggy mane of hair. He then went…
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    Cat Musings**********

    I think this is pretty much how cats think in their heads - you can tell by the way that…
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    Raise Refusal

    For many years I worked as a receptionist and switchboard operator at a busy company.…
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    Sheriff Vet

    The sheriff of a small town was also the town's veterinarian. One night the phone rang,…
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    Change Help

    A kind-hearted motorist saw a man struggling to change a tire alongside the highway, and…

How hot is it?

  • The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.
  • The trees are whistling for the dogs.
  • The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
  • Hot water now comes out of both taps.
  • You can make sun tea instantly.
  • You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron.
  • The temperature drops below 95 and you feel a little chilly.
  • You discover that in August it only takes 2 fingers to steer your car.
  • You discover that you can get sunburned through your car window.
  • You actually burn your hand opening the car door.
  • You break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m.
  • Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"
  • You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
  • The potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.
  • Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying boiled eggs.
  • The cows are giving evaporated milk.
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