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More Jokes

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    Fly Problem

    My husband is a doctor, and he received an emergency call from a patient. She had a fly…
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    Thomas

    A man in a supermarket was pushing a cart which contained, among other things, a…
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    Signs You've Chosen a "No Frills" Airline

    You can't board the plane unless you have the exact change. Before you take off, the…
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    Getting To Heaven

    The pastor was talking to a group of young children about believing in Jesus and going to…
  • child six

    Youngest in School

    A friend of mine has three boys. The youngest, Gregory, had just started school. A…
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    Rodentially Clean

    Johnny, age 5, was being taught to be neat and clean and to pick up after himself. One…
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    Brightness In Action

    *I worked with an individual who plugged his power strip back into itself and for the…
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    Shoe Follow

    Two elderly women were trying on shoes in our store. When I slipped a shoe onto one…
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    Religious Lady On Plane

    There was a religious lady that had to do a lot of traveling for her business, so…
  • clothes pants

    Wait Watching

    Having lost weight over the past few years, a lady was discarding things from her…
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    Shopping Remote

    "Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As…
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    Art Good News/Bad News

    An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings on…
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    Whisper Shock

    When my older brother was very young, he always walked up to the church altar with my…
  • burns and benny

    Burns and Benny

    Jack Benny and George Burns became friends when both were young performers working their…
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    Mrs. Hunter Jury Duty

    Mrs. Hunter was called to serve for jury duty, but asked to be excused because she didn't…

How hot is it?

  • The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.
  • The trees are whistling for the dogs.
  • The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
  • Hot water now comes out of both taps.
  • You can make sun tea instantly.
  • You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron.
  • The temperature drops below 95 and you feel a little chilly.
  • You discover that in August it only takes 2 fingers to steer your car.
  • You discover that you can get sunburned through your car window.
  • You actually burn your hand opening the car door.
  • You break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m.
  • Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"
  • You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
  • The potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.
  • Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying boiled eggs.
  • The cows are giving evaporated milk.
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