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More Jokes

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    Remember The Elderly

    The following is a letter received by a pastor from an 86 year old lady. The lady…
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    Memo Differences

    Memo from Director General to Manager:Today at 11 o'clock there will be a total eclipse…
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    Incapacitated

    I was recovering from surgery when a charity representative phoned asking me to take part…
  • newspaper2

    Cub Reporter

    The newspaper editor was instructing the cub reporter in important details of his…
  • picture of letters

    How To Speak English Properly

    *How to speak English Properly* Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects. Prepositions are…
  • cat lying down

    Lose the Cat

    A man hated his wife's cat and he decided to get rid of it. He drove 20 blocks away from…
  • Over-reacting to kidney stones

    Overreacting

    Early one morning, my husband, who works in a funeral home, woke me, complaining of…
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    Job Search Woe

    Catherine, a RN, was unhappy with her job, so she submitted her resignation. She was sure…
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    Soup Solution

    Customer: Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!Waiter: Don't worry, sir. The frog should…
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    New Employee Orientation

    Five cannibals get appointed as engineers in a high-tech company. During the welcoming…
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    All Roads Lead Back to Rome

    The U.S. Standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches.…
  • horses times 2

    Horse Woes

    Two cowboy friends, Wally and Dallas, each bought a horse one summer. They enjoyed riding…
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    Worker Ants

    The teacher was giving her class of seven-year-olds a natural history lesson. "Worker…
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    Swerving Goober

    A State Trooper pulls a car over on a lonely back road and approaches the goober driver.…
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    Engaged Beauty

    Before Linda became engaged, she was quite the beauty, and didn't mind letting her…

How hot is it?

  • The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.
  • The trees are whistling for the dogs.
  • The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
  • Hot water now comes out of both taps.
  • You can make sun tea instantly.
  • You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron.
  • The temperature drops below 95 and you feel a little chilly.
  • You discover that in August it only takes 2 fingers to steer your car.
  • You discover that you can get sunburned through your car window.
  • You actually burn your hand opening the car door.
  • You break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m.
  • Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"
  • You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
  • The potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.
  • Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying boiled eggs.
  • The cows are giving evaporated milk.
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