More Jokes

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    As part of the admission procedure in the hospital where I work, I ask the patients if…
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    Egg Contents

    One Easter Sunday morning as the minister was preaching the children's sermon, he reached…
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    White Hairs

    One day, a little girl is sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen…
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    Sermon Sub

    A minister was called away unexpectedly by the illness of a close family member. He…
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    Church Bulletin Bloopers

    The following have all genuinely appeared in church bulletins!* Next weekend's Fasting &…
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    Older Parents

    We had our ten-year-old daughter late in life, long after our two boys were born. She is…
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    Haiku Error Messages

    Sony has announced its own computer operating system now available on its hot new…
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    Sayings About Aging

    Thoughts on Growing Old ~ Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else…
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    Peter's Portrait

    One semester when my brother, Peter, attended the University of Minnesota in Minneapolis,…
  • old lady


    They have finally found a diagnosis for my condition. Hooray!! I have recently been…
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    Will She Say Yes?

    An extremely wealthy 65-year-old man falls in love with a young woman in her twenties and…
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    Senior Ailments

    A group of senior citizens were sitting around talking about their ailments: "My arms are…
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    Happy Birthday Ten Again

    A man asked his wife, "What would you most like for your birthday?" She said, "I'd love…
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    Senate Comeback

    A member of the Senate, known for his hot temper and acid tongue, exploded one day in…
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    Computer T-Shirt Slogans - #3

    Why doesn't DOS ever say 'EXCELLENT'Shell to DOS, Come in DOS, do you COPY?All computers…

How hot is it?

  • The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.
  • The trees are whistling for the dogs.
  • The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
  • Hot water now comes out of both taps.
  • You can make sun tea instantly.
  • You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron.
  • The temperature drops below 95 and you feel a little chilly.
  • You discover that in August it only takes 2 fingers to steer your car.
  • You discover that you can get sunburned through your car window.
  • You actually burn your hand opening the car door.
  • You break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m.
  • Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"
  • You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
  • The potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.
  • Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying boiled eggs.
  • The cows are giving evaporated milk.
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