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  • woman3

    Musings

    * A bus station is where a bus stops.A train station is where a train stops.My desk is my…
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    Tax Forms

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    Bob's MG

    I was driving the other day and came up on a VW Beetle with a license plate reading 'BOBS…
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    Razor Request

    Ronnie goes down to the barber shop. He gets his hair cut and then he is getting a shave.…
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    Latin Lesson

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    One Rifle Hunting

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    Computer Error

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  • child sad

    Picnic Pains

    The minister's little six-year-old girl had been so naughty during the week, that her…
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    Gardening Help

    An old man living alone in South Armagh, whose only son was in Long Kesh Prison, didn't…
  • fishing charter

    Just Pretend

    Although this married couple enjoyed their new fishing boat together, it was the husband…
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    Things My Mother Taught Me

    My Mother taught me LOGIC..."If you fall off that swing and break your neck, you can't go…
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    Last Minute Suggestions

    Automotive Gift Suggestions - Just in Time for Last Minute Christmas ShoppingIf you have…
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    Toilet Repair

    Because I couldn't unplug the toilet with a plunger, I had to dismantle the entire…
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    Taxing Sleeps

    A couple of weeks after hearing a sermon on Psalms 51:2-4 (knowing my own hidden secrets)…
  • porcupine

    Vet Come Back

    Dr. Cutter is the local veterinarian in Kennebec County, Maine. He was well-known in town…

picture of letters*How to speak English Properly*

  1. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.
  2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
  3. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.
  4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
  5. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat)
  6. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.
  7. Be more or less specific.
  8. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
  9. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
  10. No sentence fragments.
  11. Contractions aren't necessary and shouldn't be used.
  12. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
  13. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.
  14. One should NEVER generalize.
  15. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
  16. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
  17. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
  18. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
  19. The passive voice is to be ignored.
  20. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.
  21. Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.
  22. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
  23. Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earth-shaking ideas.
  24. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."
  25. If you've heard it once, you've heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it correctly.
  26. Puns are for children, not groan readers.
  27. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
  28. Even IF a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
  29. Who needs rhetorical questions?
  30. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
    And the last one...
  31. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
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