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    Rabbi Sneak

    There was this rabbi in a small town, and he was really curious about why so many people…
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    Muddy General

    During training exercises, the lieutenant driving down a muddy back road encountered…
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    A Goober Wins

    A goober goes to a restaurant, buys a coffee a sits down to drink it. He looks on the…
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    Pilgrim Church

    Thanksgiving day was approaching, and the family received a Thanksgiving card with a…
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    College Applicant

    Parents can be very upset when their children don't get into the college of their…
  • Dog New Year's Resolutions

    Your Dog's New Year's Resolutions

    I will not bark each time I see or hear a dog on TV. I will not steal underwear belonging…
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    The Congregation Replied

    Down in the south, there are many churches known as "answer back" churches. When the…
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    Chapatti Riddle

    In a party one of Pastor Tim's friends asked him how many chapattis he could eat with an…
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    Two-Part Question

    Bob had finally made it to the last round of the $50,000 Question. The night before the…
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    More Incorrect

    Two young engineers applied for a single position at a computer company. They both had…
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    Bedtime Attire

    Frequent hand washing in my job as a medical technologist and the harsh weather combined…
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    Cake Baking for Mom's of Small Children

    Cake Baking for Mom's of Small Children Preheat oven, get out utensils and ingredients.…
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    Chair Philosophy

    An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one question final exam after a semester dealing…
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    Drum Problem

    There was once a small boy who banged a drum all day and loved every moment of it. He…
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    Sunday Paper

    "Where's my Sunday paper?!" the irate customer calling the newspaper office loudly…

woman oldI'm the life of the party ... even when it lasts until 8 p.m

I'm very good at opening childproof caps with a hammer.

I'm usually interested in going home before I get to where I am going.

I'm good on a trip for at least an hour without my aspirin, beano, antacid ...

I'm the first one to find the bathroom wherever I go.

I'm awake many hours before my body allows me to get up.

I'm smiling all the time because I can't hear a word you're saying.

I'm very good at telling stories ... over and over and over and over.

I'm aware that other people's grandchildren are not as bright as mine.

I'm so cared for: long term care, eye care, private care, dental care ...

I'm not grouchy, I just don't like traffic, waiting, crowds, children, politicians ...

I'm positive I did housework correctly before my mate retired.

I'm sure everything I can't find is in a secure place.

I'm wrinkled, saggy, lumpy ... and that's just my left leg.

I'm having trouble remembering simple words like ...

I'm now spending more time with my pillows than with my mate.

I'm realizing that aging is not for sissies!

I'm anti-everything now: anti-fat, anti-smoke, anti-noise, anti-inflammatory ...

I'm walking more (to the bathroom) and enjoying it less.

I'm going to reveal what goes on behind closed doors: absolutely nothing!

I'm sure they are making adults much younger these days.

I'm in the initial stage of my golden years: SS, CD's, IRA'S, AARP.

I'm supporting all movements now ... by eating bran, prunes, and raisins.

I'm a walking storeroom of facts ... I've just lost the storeroom.

I'm a SENIOR CITIZEN and I think I am having the time of my life!!!

Now if I could only remember who sent this to me, I would send it to many more! You didn't, did you???????

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