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    Family Support

    The prospective father-in-law asked, "Young man, can you support a family?” The surprised…
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    The Foot Rule

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    Tag Fad

    My teenager was headed to school one morning when I told him that the neck tag on his…
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    Corn Problem

    We were eating corn on the cob two weeks ago and my 5-year-old daughter Rachel seemed to…
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    Seconds First

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    Beware of Dog

    Upon entering a little country store, the stranger noticed a sign saying "DANGER! BEWARE…
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    Test Results Good News

    Joey walked into his dad's study while his dad was working on the computer. "Dad," said…
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    Parrot Attitude

    A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an…
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    Dad and Surgeon

    This older man was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son,…
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    Last One

    A New Mom took her baby daughter to the supermarket for the first time. She dressed her…
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    Goober Motivation

    One day a goober was hiking up to an old camp. There was an outhouse along the way, so he…
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    Sixteen Steps to Build a Campfire

    1. Split dead limb into fragments and shave one fragment into slivers. 2. Bandage left…
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    Golf Stroke

    "I play golf in the low 80's," the little old man was telling one of the young boys at…
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    Flu Prayer

    A young boy called the pastor of a local "corner" church to ask the pastor to come by to…
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    Poor Dad

    A father worked as an accountant for the Air National Guard. Despite a regular adequate…

woman oldI'm the life of the party ... even when it lasts until 8 p.m

I'm very good at opening childproof caps with a hammer.

I'm usually interested in going home before I get to where I am going.

I'm good on a trip for at least an hour without my aspirin, beano, antacid ...

I'm the first one to find the bathroom wherever I go.

I'm awake many hours before my body allows me to get up.

I'm smiling all the time because I can't hear a word you're saying.

I'm very good at telling stories ... over and over and over and over.

I'm aware that other people's grandchildren are not as bright as mine.

I'm so cared for: long term care, eye care, private care, dental care ...

I'm not grouchy, I just don't like traffic, waiting, crowds, children, politicians ...

I'm positive I did housework correctly before my mate retired.

I'm sure everything I can't find is in a secure place.

I'm wrinkled, saggy, lumpy ... and that's just my left leg.

I'm having trouble remembering simple words like ...

I'm now spending more time with my pillows than with my mate.

I'm realizing that aging is not for sissies!

I'm anti-everything now: anti-fat, anti-smoke, anti-noise, anti-inflammatory ...

I'm walking more (to the bathroom) and enjoying it less.

I'm going to reveal what goes on behind closed doors: absolutely nothing!

I'm sure they are making adults much younger these days.

I'm in the initial stage of my golden years: SS, CD's, IRA'S, AARP.

I'm supporting all movements now ... by eating bran, prunes, and raisins.

I'm a walking storeroom of facts ... I've just lost the storeroom.

I'm a SENIOR CITIZEN and I think I am having the time of my life!!!

Now if I could only remember who sent this to me, I would send it to many more! You didn't, did you???????

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