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    Laws of Life

    * Murphy's First Law for Wives: If you ask your husband to pick up five items at the…
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    Soccer Quotes

    "My parents have been there for me. Ever since I was about seven.'DAVID BECKHAM "I would…
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    Healthy Life

    In the smoking-car the conversation turned to the merits and demerits of various ways of…
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    Corporate Listening

    The company I worked for had an employee suggestion competition, the entire staff was…
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    CD Generation

    After I bought my mother a compact-disc player and some CDs, she was excited to discover…
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    Chapatti Riddle

    In a party one of Pastor Tim's friends asked him how many chapattis he could eat with an…
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    All Roads Lead Back to Rome

    The U.S. Standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches.…
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    Escaped Puppy

    I live across the street from a church. When my wife's puppy escaped from the back yard…
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    Not as Bad as They Say

    Thanks to my good, Texan friend Walter Smith for this one.Chuck was sitting in an…
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    Flu Notes

    (Notes pinned to the pillow of a mother who has the flu by a well-meaning husband who has…
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    Golf desire

    Detailed instructions on managing your subscription are included after the body of this…
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    The Cowboy's New Car

    Three cowboys were hanging out in the bunkhouse. "I know that smart alec Tex" said the…
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    Military Man

    A career military man, who had retired as a Master Sergeant, was telling the new recruits…
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    Black Canyon Biker

    A man decided that he was going to ride a 10-speed bike from Phoenix to Flagstaff. He got…
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    Millionaire's Driver

    Millionaire: What's your name, driver? Driver: Alfred, sir. Millionaire: I always call my…

Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I'll be your Support Waiter. What seems to be the problem?

Patron: There's a fly in my soup!

Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly isn't really there.

Patron: No, it's still there.

Waiter: Then it must be the way you're using the soup. Try eating it with a fork instead.

Patron: Even when I use the fork, the fly is still there.

Waiter: This is starting to sound like an incompatibility issue. What kind of bowl are you using?

Patron: A SOUP bowl! The same one YOU served me!

Waiter: Hmmm, that usually works. Maybe it's a configuration problem. How was the bowl set up?

Patron: You brought it to me on a saucer. What has that to do with the fly in my soup?!

Waiter: Can you remember everything you did before you noticed the fly in your soup?

Patron: I sat down and ordered the Soup of the Day!

Waiter: At this point my best advice is for you to upgrade to the latest Soup of the Day.

Patron: You have more than one Soup of the Day each day??

Waiter: Yes, the Soup of the Day is changed every hour.

Patron: Well, what is the Soup of the Day now?

Waiter: The current Soup of the Day is tomato.

Patron: Fine. Bring me the tomato soup, and the check. I'm running late now.

Waiter: (Leaves and returns with another bowl of soup and the check.)

Waiter: Here you are, Sir. The soup and your check.

Patron: This is potato soup.

Waiter: Yes, the tomato soup wasn't ready yet.

Patron: Well, I'm so hungry now, I'll eat anything.

Waiter: Enjoy! (Leaves.)

Patron: Waiter! There's another fly in my soup!

Waiter: That sir, is not a fly, it is a protein feature. We have included this enhancement for free with your soup upgrade.

Patron: This is completely UNACCEPTABLE!!!

Waiter: Well, according to the license agreement printed on the back of your latest napkin, we are not liable for the disliking of our product features. I believe we can close this ticket now. (Removes old check, and leaves a new one.)

Patron: (Reads the check:)

Soup of the Day $ 1.50 Upgrade to newer Soup of the Day $ 2.50 Access to support @ $ 5.00 per incident x 3 Incidents $15.00 Subtotal $19.00 Mandatory Gratuity (25%) $ 4.00*

Total $23.00

* Gratuity was calculated using an early Intel Pentium microprocessor

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