logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

If Bill Gates Owned a Restaurant

Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I'll be your Support Waiter. What seems to be the problem?

Patron: There's a fly in my soup!

Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly isn't really there.

Patron: No, it's still there.

Waiter: Then it must be the way you're using the soup. Try eating it with a fork instead.

Patron: Even when I use the fork, the fly is still there.

Waiter: This is starting to sound like an incompatibility issue. What kind of bowl are you using?

Patron: A SOUP bowl! The same one YOU served me!

Waiter: Hmmm, that usually works. Maybe it's a configuration problem. How was the bowl set up?

Patron: You brought it to me on a saucer. What has that to do with the fly in my soup?!

Waiter: Can you remember everything you did before you noticed the fly in your soup?

Patron: I sat down and ordered the Soup of the Day!

Waiter: At this point my best advice is for you to upgrade to the latest Soup of the Day.

Patron: You have more than one Soup of the Day each day??

Waiter: Yes, the Soup of the Day is changed every hour.

Patron: Well, what is the Soup of the Day now?

Waiter: The current Soup of the Day is tomato.

Patron: Fine. Bring me the tomato soup, and the check. I'm running late now.

Waiter: (Leaves and returns with another bowl of soup and the check.)

Waiter: Here you are, Sir. The soup and your check.

Patron: This is potato soup.

Waiter: Yes, the tomato soup wasn't ready yet.

Patron: Well, I'm so hungry now, I'll eat anything.

Waiter: Enjoy! (Leaves.)

Patron: Waiter! There's another fly in my soup!

Waiter: That sir, is not a fly, it is a protein feature. We have included this enhancement for free with your soup upgrade.

Patron: This is completely UNACCEPTABLE!!!

Waiter: Well, according to the license agreement printed on the back of your latest napkin, we are not liable for the disliking of our product features. I believe we can close this ticket now. (Removes old check, and leaves a new one.)

Patron: (Reads the check:)

Soup of the Day $ 1.50 Upgrade to newer Soup of the Day $ 2.50 Access to support @ $ 5.00 per incident x 3 Incidents $15.00 Subtotal $19.00 Mandatory Gratuity (25%) $ 4.00*

Total $23.00

* Gratuity was calculated using an early Intel Pentium microprocessor

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    Dog Employee

    A salesman dropped in to see a business customer. Not a soul was in the office except a…
  • Default Image

    Family Problems

    Two men met at a bus stop and struck up a conversation. One of them kept complaining of…
  • A picture of genetically modified corn

    Genetically Modified Food

    Signs that scientists have gone too far with genetically modified food: *Your hot dog…
  • Default Image

    Mailbox Problem

    A friend asked me to replace the rotted post that her mailbox sat on, but to save the…
  • warning sign clown

    Wacky Warnings

    Here are the top five winning entries in the Wacky Warning Labels contest, sponsored by…
  • money

    Money

    Money can buy a house, but not a home.Money can buy a bed, but not sleep.Money can buy a…
  • railway tracks

    Workin' on the Railroad

    Benny wanted a job as a signalman on the railways. At his interview, the inspector asked…
  • Default Image

    Let Us Know

    The following advertisement appeared in a physical culture magazine:"Here's a good test…
  • Default Image

    Keep Walking

    An eight year old boy is walking down the road one day when a car pulls over next to him.…
  • Default Image

    Dental Mommy

    For the first time, my four-year-old daughter Kelsey was coming to my office to have me,…
  • Default Image

    Children Under Ten

    Mark Twain's contention was that the most interesting information comes from children,…
  • Default Image

    Travel Agent Stories

    The following are actual stories provided by travel agents :1. I had someone ask for an…
  • Default Image

    Dark Parachute Jumps

    Nights in England are coal black, making parachute jumps difficult and dangerous. So we…
  • a picture of newspapers

    Headlines from 2050

    *Headlines from 2050* Florida to Be Re-admitted to Union Plague of Spotted Owls Threaten…
  • couple old

    40 Year Solution

    My parents have been married for almost 40 years. Whenever anyone asks my Dad how they've…