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    Murphy's Laws on Computers

    *Murphy's Laws on Computers*- As soon as you delete a worthless file, you'll need it.-…
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    Dressing The Kids

    The mother of a large family was explaining why she dresses her children alike, right…
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    Too Late To Date

    After the death of a never married 94-year old spinster of his parish, the rector was…
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    Bloopers in the Media

    "Golden, Ripe, Boneless Bananas, 39 Cents A Pound."- Ad in the "Missoulian" by Orange…
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    Artist's Sketch

    Artist Pablo Picasso surprised a burglar at work in his new chateau. The intruder got…
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    Sunday Lollipop

    The boy came skipping into the house with a big lollipop in his hands. "Where did you get…
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    "Grace"ous Host

    A woman invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to their six-year-old…
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    Run Through the Woods

    Two campers, both in the 60s are walking through the woods. A huge brown bear suddenly…
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    Computer Customer Quotes

    "Computer Customer Quotes" or "Why goobers shouldn't own computers!" Customer: "I have…
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    Other Uses for Fruitcake

    1. Paint a few white and place them outside on the grass so people won't park on your…
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    Goober Grave Readers

    Three goobers, Bubba, Earl and Jeb, were walking home late one night and found themselves…
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    First Day

    Little Johnny was thrilled when his turn came to enter kindergarten. To make sure he had…
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    Think You're Having A Bad Day?

    So you think you're having a bad day. A man was working on his motorcycle on his patio…
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    Blood Race

    During the time I was a first lieutenant at Seymour Johnson Air Force Base in North…

Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I'll be your Support Waiter. What seems to be the problem?

Patron: There's a fly in my soup!

Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly isn't really there.

Patron: No, it's still there.

Waiter: Then it must be the way you're using the soup. Try eating it with a fork instead.

Patron: Even when I use the fork, the fly is still there.

Waiter: This is starting to sound like an incompatibility issue. What kind of bowl are you using?

Patron: A SOUP bowl! The same one YOU served me!

Waiter: Hmmm, that usually works. Maybe it's a configuration problem. How was the bowl set up?

Patron: You brought it to me on a saucer. What has that to do with the fly in my soup?!

Waiter: Can you remember everything you did before you noticed the fly in your soup?

Patron: I sat down and ordered the Soup of the Day!

Waiter: At this point my best advice is for you to upgrade to the latest Soup of the Day.

Patron: You have more than one Soup of the Day each day??

Waiter: Yes, the Soup of the Day is changed every hour.

Patron: Well, what is the Soup of the Day now?

Waiter: The current Soup of the Day is tomato.

Patron: Fine. Bring me the tomato soup, and the check. I'm running late now.

Waiter: (Leaves and returns with another bowl of soup and the check.)

Waiter: Here you are, Sir. The soup and your check.

Patron: This is potato soup.

Waiter: Yes, the tomato soup wasn't ready yet.

Patron: Well, I'm so hungry now, I'll eat anything.

Waiter: Enjoy! (Leaves.)

Patron: Waiter! There's another fly in my soup!

Waiter: That sir, is not a fly, it is a protein feature. We have included this enhancement for free with your soup upgrade.

Patron: This is completely UNACCEPTABLE!!!

Waiter: Well, according to the license agreement printed on the back of your latest napkin, we are not liable for the disliking of our product features. I believe we can close this ticket now. (Removes old check, and leaves a new one.)

Patron: (Reads the check:)

Soup of the Day $ 1.50 Upgrade to newer Soup of the Day $ 2.50 Access to support @ $ 5.00 per incident x 3 Incidents $15.00 Subtotal $19.00 Mandatory Gratuity (25%) $ 4.00*

Total $23.00

* Gratuity was calculated using an early Intel Pentium microprocessor

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