Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I'll be your Support Waiter. What seems to be the problem?
Patron: There's a fly in my soup!
Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly isn't really there.
Patron: No, it's still there.
Waiter: Then it must be the way you're using the soup. Try eating it with a fork instead.
Patron: Even when I use the fork, the fly is still there.
Waiter: This is starting to sound like an incompatibility issue. What kind of bowl are you using?
Patron: A SOUP bowl! The same one YOU served me!
Waiter: Hmmm, that usually works. Maybe it's a configuration problem. How was the bowl set up?
Patron: You brought it to me on a saucer. What has that to do with the fly in my soup?!
Waiter: Can you remember everything you did before you noticed the fly in your soup?
Patron: I sat down and ordered the Soup of the Day!
Waiter: At this point my best advice is for you to upgrade to the latest Soup of the Day.
Patron: You have more than one Soup of the Day each day??
Waiter: Yes, the Soup of the Day is changed every hour.
Patron: Well, what is the Soup of the Day now?
Waiter: The current Soup of the Day is tomato.
Patron: Fine. Bring me the tomato soup, and the check. I'm running late now.
Waiter: (Leaves and returns with another bowl of soup and the check.)
Waiter: Here you are, Sir. The soup and your check.
Patron: This is potato soup.
Waiter: Yes, the tomato soup wasn't ready yet.
Patron: Well, I'm so hungry now, I'll eat anything.
Waiter: Enjoy! (Leaves.)
Patron: Waiter! There's another fly in my soup!
Waiter: That sir, is not a fly, it is a protein feature. We have included this enhancement for free with your soup upgrade.
Patron: This is completely UNACCEPTABLE!!!
Waiter: Well, according to the license agreement printed on the back of your latest napkin, we are not liable for the disliking of our product features. I believe we can close this ticket now. (Removes old check, and leaves a new one.)
Patron: (Reads the check:)
Soup of the Day $ 1.50 Upgrade to newer Soup of the Day $ 2.50 Access to support @ $ 5.00 per incident x 3 Incidents $15.00 Subtotal $19.00 Mandatory Gratuity (25%) $ 4.00*
* Gratuity was calculated using an early Intel Pentium microprocessor