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    Things You Will Never Hear

    Things you'll never hear a man say: 1) Here honey, you use the remote. 2) Ooh, Antonio…
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    GOLF, n.

    [1] a game that consists of a lot of walking, broken up by disappointment and bad…
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    *Famous Sports Quotes*

    "Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman…
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    Drum Sounds

    A researcher arrives in Borneo to gather data for his thesis. Accompanied by his trusty…
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    Farmer Joe & Bessie

    Farmer Joe decided his injuries from the accident were serious enough to take the…
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    Cart Ads

    My father is a skilled CPA who is not great at self-promotion. So when an advertising…
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    Cinderoofer

    When my children received the video of Cinderella as a summer gift, they watched it…
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    Excerpts from Pet Diaries

    From the Dog.Day number 1808:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!9:30 am - OH BOY! A…
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    Watergate Bug

    A honeymoon couple is in the Watergate Hotel. The new bride is concerned and asked, "What…
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    New and Approved

    The little girl was sitting in her grandfather's lap as he read her a goodnight story.…
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    Technical Terms for the Strictly Amish

    Log on: making a wood stove hotterLog off: don't add no more woodMonitor: keeping an eye…
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    Quit Bothering Us

    We had spent the day moving from our farmhouse into our new house in town. Early the next…
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    Heavenly Music

    I attend a small village church in rural PA. On any given Sunday, we may have six or…
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    Goober at Interview

    The executive was interviewing a young goober for a position in his company. He wanted to…
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    Perspective

    An English professor wrote the words, "a woman without her man is nothing" on the…

Bidding at a local auction was proceeding furiously when the auctioneer suddenly announced,

"A gentleman in this room has lost a wallet containing $10,000. If it is returned, he will pay a reward of $2,000."

There was a moment's silence, and then from the back of the room came the cry,

"Two thousand five hundred!"

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