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    --- WARNING, DANGER! ---

    --- WARNING, DANGER! --- I know this guy whose neighbor, a young man, was home recovering…
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    Sunday Complaints

    After church one Sunday morning, a mother commented, "The choir was awful this…
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    Some Great Malapropisms...

    "I don't want anybody stepping on anyone else's thunder.""You can't pull the sheep over…
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    Get Your Own

    One day a group of scientists got together and decided that man had come a long way and…
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    Reward Change

    A lady lost her handbag at the mall. An honest young lad found it and returned it to her.…
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    Mirror Honesty

    A husband and wife are getting ready for bed. The wife is standing in front of a full…
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    Cats

    "There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast.""In a cat's eye, all things…
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    Flight Booking

    After booking my 80-year-old grandmother on a flight from Florida to Nevada, I called the…
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    Goober Mirror

    Two goobers, Carol and Patty, were walking down the street.Carol noticed a compact on the…
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    Delete Button

    Unfortunately, we humans do not come equipped with delete buttons for our mouths.My…
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    Ever Driven a Honda?

    A biker is riding a new motorcycle on the highway. While passing a car, he knocks on the…
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    Wedding Pass

    A friend of mine joined the Navy and soon after had to attend a wedding. He asked an…
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    Note From Judge

    During court one busy day, the judge quietly passed the clerk a note reading: "Blind on…
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    Fee Surprise

    Two brawny men came to my house to install some new floor covering in the kitchen. Once…
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    One Man Team

    (Note: It's just a joke so change the name of the teams as it suits you.) The Redskins…

My girlfriend called me as she was driving to an appointment. She arrived, and I could tell from her voice that she was getting frustrated. Finally she said, "I know I had my cell phone with me. And now I can't find it!"

I replied, "Aren't you talking on it!?"

There was a solid period of stunned silence as the reality of the situation sank in - followed by, "You are NOT going to tell anybody about this!"

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