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    New Axioms of the Nineties

    New Axioms of the Nineties1. Home is where you hang your @.2. The e-mail of the species…
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    The Turkey Shot Out Of The Oven

    The turkey shot out of the ovenand rocketed into the air,it knocked every plate off the…
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    Diaper Change

    "Here's your problem," says the doctor to the first-time father. "This baby's in serious…
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    Martha's Way vs. My Way #2

    Martha's way: If you accidentally over salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a…
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    Finally

    A man was sleeping when his wife shook him and said, "Wake up, someone is breaking in!"…
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    New Employee Orientation

    Five cannibals get appointed as engineers in a high-tech company. During the welcoming…
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    Super Dress

    Shortly after the birth of their second child, a husband offered to take his wife…
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    Tense

    An English teacher at Michigan State University spent a lot of time marking grammatical…
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    VP Moniker

    The chairman of the board of our company called me into his office to tell me the good…
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    Bank Call

    One of my jobs at a bank is to answer the phones and put callers through to the right…
  • aging-beauty

    Getting Older

    Amy and Jamie are old friends. They have both been married to their husbands for a long…
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    Scale Convention

    At the scale manufacturers' convention, people often wanted to weigh themselves on…
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    A Brother Names the Babies

    A pregnant woman from Washington, D.C., (whose husband was out of the country) gets in a…
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    Card Name

    A customer called the airline's reservation office to pay for his ticket with a credit…
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    Penny Problems

    After tucking their three-year-old child Sammy in for bed one night, his parents heard…

The basketball coach stormed into the university president's office and demanded a raise right then and there. "Please," protested the college President, "you already make more than the entire History department."

"Yeah, maybe so, but you don't know what I have to put up with," the coach blustered. "Look." He went out into the hall and grabbed a jock who was jogging down the hallway. "Run over to my office and see if I'm there," he ordered. Twenty minutes later the jock returned, sweaty and out of breath. "You're not there, sir," he reported.

"Oh, I see what you mean," conceded the President, scratching his head. "I would have phoned."

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