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    Halloween Pun

    Bob Hill and his new wife, Betty, were vacationing in Europe -- as it happens, in…
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    Coast Guard Keeping

    My daughter Michelle is the commander of a Coast Guard Cutter. When she gave my husband…
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    Potential Company Mergers

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    100 GB

    Experts warned today of a new and deadly threat to our beleaguered civilization: the…
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    Punishment

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    Substitute Teacher

    Walking through the hallways at the middle school where I work, I saw a new substitute…
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    All You Can Drink

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    Muffin Moving

    After living in our house for four years, we were moving out of state. My husband had…
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    Economy Motel

    One night at an economy motel, I ordered a 6:00 a.m. wake-up call. The next morning, I…
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    Sick Days

    It was the toughest experience of my life. First, I got angina pectoris and then…
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    Cow Horns

    "Mister, why doesn't this cow have any horns?" asked the young lady from a nearby city on…
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    Today's Little Axioms

    1. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.2. He who laughs last, thinks…
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    Think You're Having A Bad Day?

    So you think you're having a bad day. A man was working on his motorcycle on his patio…
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    Hair Curlers

    My wife still uses curlers in her hair after she washes it. The other night she came into…
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    Playing House

    A boy of three and a girl of four, were playing house one day. They played that they were…

My husband and I had bought some gadgets for our almost teen-age grandsons and were leaving the store when we realized we didn't have batteries. He stepped over to a counter to get the batteries but couldn't attract the attention of the clerk.

I waited for a little while then said, "I'll get a clerk over here real fast." With that, I pulled out my pocket tape measure and started measuring a large TV set.

Amazingly, a clerk leap-frogged over several pieces of furniture to reach my side in jig time. To his "May I help you?" I said, "Of course. I'll take 8 of those batteries over there."

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