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    Honeymoon In England

    On a visit to my wife's native England for our honeymoon, we arrived at London's Gatwick…
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    Ten Commandments

    A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five- and…
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    Sunday Compliment

    The minister gave his Sunday morning service, as usual, but this particular Sunday, it…
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    Curfew

    This young man was elated when he turned eighteen in a state where curfew is 11:00 p.m.…
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    Goodbye From George

    George had died. His lawyer is standing before the family and reads out his Last Will and…
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    Home Maid Cure

    A business executive injured his leg skiing one weekend. By the time he got home Sunday,…
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    Cats

    "There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast.""In a cat's eye, all things…
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    Deck Praise

    I was working in the sun all day, putting finishing touches on the new deck outside my…
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    Nice Boyfriend

    One night a teenage girl brought her new boyfriend home to meet her parents, and they…
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    Refueling

    Once my wife and I had to take a flight that had 4 other stops before arriving at the…
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    Eating Out

    Two attorneys went into a diner and ordered two drinks. Then they produced sandwiches…
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    Simple Operation

    A man was seen fleeing down the hall of the hospital just before his operation. "What's…
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    Things Learned From Children

    Things I've learned from my children (honest and no kidding): * There is no such thing as…
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    Definitions

    ADULT:A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.…
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    Toilet Repair

    Because I couldn't unplug the toilet with a plunger, I had to dismantle the entire…

At the school where my mother worked, the two first-grade teachers were Miss Paine and Mrs. Hacking. One morning the mother of a student called in the middle of a flu epidemic to excuse her daughter from school.

"Is she in Paine or Hacking?" the school secretary asked.

"She feels fine," said the confused mom. "We have company and I'm keeping her home."

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