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    Blind Date Slap

    An 85-year-old widow went on a blind date with a 90-year-old man. When she returned to…
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    Newlywed Compromise

    For our first New Year's together as a married couple, my wife offered me a choice of…
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    Time To Wave

    From a passenger ship, everyone can see a bearded man on a small island who is shouting…
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    Reward Change

    A lady lost her handbag at the mall. An honest young lad found it and returned it to her.…
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    Dog Errand

    A butcher is working, and really busy. He notices a dog in his shop and shoos him away.…
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    Golf Comeback

    (This joke is based on an actual event which is a part of golf lore around the world). A…
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    How To Train A Cat

    Our young daughter had adopted a stray cat. To my distress, he began to use the back of…
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    Vacation Time

    Jill had applied for a job and when she returned home, her mother asked how the interview…
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    Birth Wharp

    Stationed in Okinawa, Japan, my son and his wife were expecting their first baby. I was…
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    New Duct Tape

    I was with my eldest son one day, driving around town in my old Toyota pickup, when…
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    Taxing Sleeps

    A couple of weeks after hearing a sermon on Psalms 51:2-4 (knowing my own hidden secrets)…
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    Firehouse Training Session

    At a training session in the fire station, the team was assembled around the kitchen…
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    Moth Madness

    A man walks into a dentist's surgery and says, "Excuse me, can you help me. I think I'm a…
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    Flight Fear

    Our co-worker kept trying to get her mother to fly out for a visit. "No way am I getting…

At the school where my mother worked, the two first-grade teachers were Miss Paine and Mrs. Hacking. One morning the mother of a student called in the middle of a flu epidemic to excuse her daughter from school.

"Is she in Paine or Hacking?" the school secretary asked.

"She feels fine," said the confused mom. "We have company and I'm keeping her home."

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