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  • children3

    Kid Quotes

    "Everyone has feelings, except for snakes and principals."- Donna Maria G, age 9 "Laugh…
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    Cereal Adjustment

    Deciding to eat healthier breakfasts, my brother-in-law declared that oatmeal would now…
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    Dear Marty

    Dear Marty, I have been unable to sleep since I broke off your engagement to my daughter.…
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    Bigger Piece

    One night at the dinner table, the wife commented, "When we were first married, you took…
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    Forced Landing

    A flight instructor was sent out to help a student who had radioed that he was about to…
  • A funny joke about marriage

    Shoebox Doilies

    As a new bride, Aunt Edna moved into the small home on her husband's ranch near…
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    Pastor To The Rescue

    There were two men shipwrecked on this island. The minute they got on to the island one…
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    Goober Travel Times

    A Goober gets on a bus and asks the driver how long the trip is between Limerick and…
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    Spelling Information

    "Information? I need the number of the Caseway Insurance Company.""Would you spell that,…
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    Hypo Teen

    Our neighbor used the word hypochondriac to describe the phase her teen-age daughter was…
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    Guard Dog Sniff

    My boyfriend, Tim, a mechanic, does work for the Air Force Academy. One day, a guard…
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    Passing Time

    My husband and I both look very young for our ages. In fact, we've hardly aged a day…
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    Who Am I?

    Years ago, when our daughters were very young, we'd drop them off at our church's…
  • pond

    Wet Clothes

    Cassie was a really good mom. When her children were growing up, her one son gave her…
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    Clunker Leak

    As the owner of a clunker, I was used to dealing with a variety of car breakdowns. One…

At the school where my mother worked, the two first-grade teachers were Miss Paine and Mrs. Hacking. One morning the mother of a student called in the middle of a flu epidemic to excuse her daughter from school.

"Is she in Paine or Hacking?" the school secretary asked.

"She feels fine," said the confused mom. "We have company and I'm keeping her home."

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