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    Queen Size

    A little boy went to the store with his grandmother and on the way home, he was looking…
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    King of The Jungle

    The lion was proud of his mastery of the animal kingdom. One day he decided to make sure…
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    Lost Bible

    The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range.…
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    School Excuse

    At the school where my mother worked, the two first-grade teachers were Miss Paine and…
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    Burger Change

    I had just finished visiting a friend in the hospital and stopped by a burger…
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    Science Quotes from Kids - Part 2

    ~ H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water.~ To collect fumes of sulfur, hold a deacon…
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    Plane Programming

    At a recent computer software engineering course, the participants were given an awkward…
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    Top Tips For Cheapskates

    Top Tips For Cheapskates~ Old telephone directories make ideal personal address books.…
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    Carrier Landings

    Any naval aviator will tell you that landing a plane on an aircraft carrier is THE most…
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    New Pet

    A man was driving down a country road when he saw a baby pig along side the road. He…
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    Pilgrim Church

    Thanksgiving day was approaching, and the family received a Thanksgiving card with a…
  • County Chairmen

    County Chairmen

    Two opposing county chairman were sharing a rare moment together. The Democratic chairman…
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    Wacky Warnings

    Here are the top five winning entries in the Wacky Warning Labels contest, sponsored by…
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    Paid To Worry

    Fresh out of business school, the young man answered a want ad for an accountant. Now he…
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    50 Years - 5 Minutes

    On an airplane, I overheard a stewardess talking to an elderly couple in front of…
The following notes from parents excusing their children from attending school have been around a while but if you haven't seen them, I'm sure you will get a kick out of them:

"Please excuse Freddie from being away yesterday because he had the fuel."

"Please accuse Michael from being absent on January 30 because he was aleing."

"George was absent yesterday because of a sore trout."

"Please excuse Betsey from being absent. She was sick and I had her shot."

"Joseph has been absent becuz he had two teeth taken off his face."

"My son is under doctor's care and should not take fisical education. Please execute him."

"Please excuse Ralph from school on Friday. He had very loose vowels."
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