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    Goodbye From George

    George had died. His lawyer is standing before the family and reads out his Last Will and…
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    Chapstick

    We had this great 10 year old cat named Jack who just recently died.Jack was a great cat…
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    The Congregation Replied

    Down in the south, there are many churches known as "answer back" churches. When the…
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    Late Night Studying

    My husband, Cal, grew increasingly displeased as our teenage daughter and her boyfriend…
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    Etch-A-Sketch Technical Support Line

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    No Horns

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    CIA, FBI & LAPD

    The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD), The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove…
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    First Sermon

    At his first service, the new preachers sermon was extremely long and dull. As he…
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    Kitchen Cry

    Howard came home from work one evening and there was his wife Miriam in the kitchen…
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    Things to do when seeing Lord Of The Rings:

    1. Stand up halfway through the movie and yell loudly, "Wait! Where is Harry Potter?"2.…
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    Kids' Kitchen Terms

    Kids' Kitchen TermsBOIL: The point a parent reaches upon hearing the automatic "Yuck"…
  • A funny diatribe about children and parenting

    Lamentation For Our Kids

    This is rather lengthy but funny. *Laws Pertaining to Dessert* For we judge between the…
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    Plane Seat

    It was Judi's first plane trip.Boarding the aircraft she settled into a window seat in…
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    Medical Term Needed

    The man told his doctor that he wasn't able to do all the things around the house that he…
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    Bulletin Humor

    I hope the bulletin in your church is more accurate than the ones that these occurred in.…
So there's this fella with a parrot.  And this parrot swears like a sailor,

I mean he's a pistol.  He can swear for five minutes straight without repeating himself.  Trouble is, the guy who owns him is a quiet, conservative type, and this bird's foul mouth is driving him crazy.  One day, it gets to be too much, so the guy grabs the bird by the throat, shakes him really hard, and yells, "QUIT IT!".

But this just makes the bird mad and he swears more than ever.  Then the guy gets mad and says, "OK, that's it for you." and locks the bird in a kitchen cabinet.  This really ticks the bird off and he claws and scratches until the guy finally lets him out.  When he's out the bird cuts loose with a stream of vulgarities that would make even a veteran sailor blush.

At that point, the guy is so mad that he throws the bird into the freezer. For the first few seconds there is a terrible ruckus.  The bird kicks and claws and trashes.  Then it suddenly gets quiet, very quiet...  At first the guy just waits, but then he starts to think that the bird may be hurt. After a couple of minutes of silence, he's so worried that he opens up the freezer door.

The bird calmly climbs onto the man's outstretched arm and says, "Awfully sorry about the trouble I gave you.  I'll do my best to improve my vocabulary from now on."

The man is astounded.  He can't understand the transformation that has come over the parrot.  Just then the parrot says, "By the way, what on earth did that chicken do anyway?"
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