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    Last Name Lineup

    On my first day in basic training, we were lined up in a row, each of us in turn having…
  • How to be handy around the house - in 10 easy steps.

    Ten Step Guide to Being Handy Around the House

    1. If you can't find a screwdriver, use a knife. If you break off the tip, it's an…
  • cat on roof

    Your Cat's New Year's Resolutions

    My human will never let me eat their pet hamster, and I am at peace with that. I will not…
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    Traffic Camera

    A man was driving when a traffic camera flashed. He thought his picture was taken for…
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    Boss Prepared

    As salesman was assigned to secure an important client but failed in his mission.He faxed…
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    Washing Settings

    One day, a housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt. Seconds after he…
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    Cow Philosophies

    Various organizational philosophies explained in "two cow" terms. Socialism: you have two…
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    Beautiful Name Tag

    Our favorite restaurant has a waitress whose name-tag reads "Beautiful." "Is that really…
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    Quickest Way to York

    A man approached a local person in a village he was visiting. "What's the quickest way to…
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    Jericho Walls

    The new pastor decided to visit the children's Sunday school. The teacher introduced him…
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    New Pet

    A man was driving down a country road when he saw a baby pig along side the road. He…
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    The Day Before

    Showing his friend around his home, Fred started to point out all of the collectibles his…
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    Noah Glue

    Ending his sermon, a preacher announced that he would preach on Noah and the Ark on the…
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    Coach Call

    As a high school football coach, I'm aware that student athletes tend to focus too much…
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    Ready, Set, Go

    Two campers, Chris and Michael, are awakened by the sounds of an obviously large bear…

You know you're growing old when..

You've come to the annoying realization that your parents were right about almost everything.

The bag boy volunteers to help load groceries into your car-in the "ten items or less" lane.

You've stopped supporting your children, and started supporting your parents.

You've found yourself discussing the weather.

You remember your kid's names, just not always the right one.

You have nightmares about forgetting to move the garbage cans to the street for the garbage collector.

Your high school yearbook is now home to three different species of mold.

You buy "age-defying" makeup and "anti-wrinkle" creams and believe they work.

You've realized that all those geeky people in Bermuda shorts walking around Disney World include you.

You recognize Led Zeppelin songs that have been turned into elevator Muzak.

You've had three opportunities to buy every single Disney Animated Classic-"for the last time in a generation"

Wal-Mart and Target seem to share your fashion sense.

The only way you know to stop a virtual pet from beeping involves the patio and a sledgehammer.

You can pack two suits, Five shirts, five ties, five pairs of underwear, five pairs of socks, a pair of shoes, and half of your bathroom into a carry-on bag-in less than five minutes.

You know what Earth Shoes are.

You think if you hear "Stairway to Heaven" one more time your head will explode.

Your weight-lifting program seems to have no effect on your muscles, but the veins on the backs of your hands are bulking up quite nicely.

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