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More Jokes

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    First Words

    The eight-year old boy had never spoken a word-ever.One afternoon, as he sat eating his…
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    I can't come in to work today because . . . .

    - "My son dropped the car keys in the toilet and I sent him in after them. Now I'm…
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    Handy Gadget

    After shopping at a busy store, another woman and I happened to leave at the same time,…
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    Out of Gas Options

    The young woman sat in her stalled car, waiting for help. Finally two men walked up to…
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    Dear Abby, Dear Reader

    Dear Abby, I have a man I never could trust. He cheats so much on me I'm not even sure…
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    Mother's Flu

    (Notes pinned to the pillow of a mother who has the flu by her meaning husband.) Monday…
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    Insurance Check and Double Take

    Fire swept the plains and burned down the farmer’s barn. While he surveyed the wreckage,…
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    Dynamite Bumps

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…
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    Thrown Off Horse

    I had a near death experience that has changed me forever. The other day, I went…
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    Sick Call

    Mr. Frobisher constantly called Dr. Wilson at all hours of the day and night and would…
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    Dog Stop

    Two dogs were walking down the street. The one dog says to the other, "Wait here a…
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    Things I've Learned From My Children

    *Things I've Learned From My Children* 01. A king size waterbed holds enough water to…
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    King of The Jungle

    The lion was proud of his mastery of the animal kingdom. One day he decided to make sure…
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    Sermon Sub

    A minister was called away unexpectedly by the illness of a close family member. He…
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    Baseball Doctor

    As the manager of our hospital's softball team, I was responsible for returning equipment…

You know you're growing old when..

You've come to the annoying realization that your parents were right about almost everything.

The bag boy volunteers to help load groceries into your car-in the "ten items or less" lane.

You've stopped supporting your children, and started supporting your parents.

You've found yourself discussing the weather.

You remember your kid's names, just not always the right one.

You have nightmares about forgetting to move the garbage cans to the street for the garbage collector.

Your high school yearbook is now home to three different species of mold.

You buy "age-defying" makeup and "anti-wrinkle" creams and believe they work.

You've realized that all those geeky people in Bermuda shorts walking around Disney World include you.

You recognize Led Zeppelin songs that have been turned into elevator Muzak.

You've had three opportunities to buy every single Disney Animated Classic-"for the last time in a generation"

Wal-Mart and Target seem to share your fashion sense.

The only way you know to stop a virtual pet from beeping involves the patio and a sledgehammer.

You can pack two suits, Five shirts, five ties, five pairs of underwear, five pairs of socks, a pair of shoes, and half of your bathroom into a carry-on bag-in less than five minutes.

You know what Earth Shoes are.

You think if you hear "Stairway to Heaven" one more time your head will explode.

Your weight-lifting program seems to have no effect on your muscles, but the veins on the backs of your hands are bulking up quite nicely.

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