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More Jokes

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    Chicken Recovery

    A farmer's son was returning from the market with the crate of chickens his father had…
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    Strange 911 Calls

    *Strange 911 Calls*A call came into 911 Emergency because two couples were going to share…
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    Things to do When Your ISP Goes Down

    1. Dial 911 immediately.2. Open the curtains to see if anything has changed over the past…
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    Athiest Groceries

    There was a Christian lady who lived next door to an atheist. Everyday, when the lady…
  • high tea

    Two Teas

    1st customer: I'll have tea. 2nd customer: Me, too. And be sure the cup is clean! (The…
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    Fishing Trip

    "So, what's the matter? I thought you just got back from a nice relaxing fishing trip…
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    Computer T-Shirt Slogans - #3

    Why doesn't DOS ever say 'EXCELLENT'Shell to DOS, Come in DOS, do you COPY?All computers…
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    Hymns vs. Choruses

    An old farmer went to the city one weekend and attended the big city church. He came home…
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    Overdue at the Movies

    Tired from waiting for their overdue baby, my daughter and her husband broke the monotony…
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    Repeat Position

    A lifeboat was called out to rescue a yacht in trouble. The coastguard, trying to get the…
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    Bad Flight

    While ferrying workers back and forth from an offshore oil rig, the helicopter lost power…
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    Chain Fired

    A guy walks into the human resources department of a large company and hands the…
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    Moose Hunters

    Two moose hunters from Texas are flown into a remote lake in Alaska. They have a good…
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    What Mom Really Wants

    Top 10 List of what Moms REALLY want for Mother's Day 10. To be able to eat a whole candy…
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    Prayer Postions

    Three preachers sat discussing the best positions for prayer, while a telephone repairman…

You know you're growing old when..

You've come to the annoying realization that your parents were right about almost everything.

The bag boy volunteers to help load groceries into your car-in the "ten items or less" lane.

You've stopped supporting your children, and started supporting your parents.

You've found yourself discussing the weather.

You remember your kid's names, just not always the right one.

You have nightmares about forgetting to move the garbage cans to the street for the garbage collector.

Your high school yearbook is now home to three different species of mold.

You buy "age-defying" makeup and "anti-wrinkle" creams and believe they work.

You've realized that all those geeky people in Bermuda shorts walking around Disney World include you.

You recognize Led Zeppelin songs that have been turned into elevator Muzak.

You've had three opportunities to buy every single Disney Animated Classic-"for the last time in a generation"

Wal-Mart and Target seem to share your fashion sense.

The only way you know to stop a virtual pet from beeping involves the patio and a sledgehammer.

You can pack two suits, Five shirts, five ties, five pairs of underwear, five pairs of socks, a pair of shoes, and half of your bathroom into a carry-on bag-in less than five minutes.

You know what Earth Shoes are.

You think if you hear "Stairway to Heaven" one more time your head will explode.

Your weight-lifting program seems to have no effect on your muscles, but the veins on the backs of your hands are bulking up quite nicely.

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