logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

You know you're growing old when..

You know you're growing old when..

You've come to the annoying realization that your parents were right about almost everything.

The bag boy volunteers to help load groceries into your car-in the "ten items or less" lane.

You've stopped supporting your children, and started supporting your parents.

You've found yourself discussing the weather.

You remember your kid's names, just not always the right one.

You have nightmares about forgetting to move the garbage cans to the street for the garbage collector.

Your high school yearbook is now home to three different species of mold.

You buy "age-defying" makeup and "anti-wrinkle" creams and believe they work.

You've realized that all those geeky people in Bermuda shorts walking around Disney World include you.

You recognize Led Zeppelin songs that have been turned into elevator Muzak.

You've had three opportunities to buy every single Disney Animated Classic-"for the last time in a generation"

Wal-Mart and Target seem to share your fashion sense.

The only way you know to stop a virtual pet from beeping involves the patio and a sledgehammer.

You can pack two suits, Five shirts, five ties, five pairs of underwear, five pairs of socks, a pair of shoes, and half of your bathroom into a carry-on bag-in less than five minutes.

You know what Earth Shoes are.

You think if you hear "Stairway to Heaven" one more time your head will explode.

Your weight-lifting program seems to have no effect on your muscles, but the veins on the backs of your hands are bulking up quite nicely.

More Jokes

  • coffee cup

    Coffee Delay

    In a rush to work one morning, I pulled up to the drive-through window at a fast-food…
  • Default Image

    Actual Newspaper Headlines (collected by journalists)

    1. Something Went Wrong In Jet Crash, Expert Says2. Police Begin Campaign To Run Down…
  • Default Image

    Monitors

    I sell new and used computers for a living. At an exhibit and sale, I decided to give…
  • Default Image

    Work P-p-p-p-p-roblem

    A really huge muscular guy with a bad stutter goes to a counter in a department store and…
  • Default Image

    Funeral Weather

    As with many funerals, it was a cloudy, rainy day.The deceased was a little old lady who…
  • Default Image

    Noah Glue

    Ending his sermon, a preacher announced that he would preach on Noah and the Ark on the…
  • funeral joke with a tuxedo

    Do Something Nice

    Unable to attend the funeral after his Uncle Charlie died, a man who lived far away…
  • school

    Miles and Eggs

    The teacher noticed that Mike had been daydreaming for a long time. She decided to get…
  • Default Image

    Soup Solution

    Customer: Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!Waiter: Don't worry, sir. The frog should…
  • Default Image

    Dog Errand

    A butcher is working, and really busy. He notices a dog in his shop and shoos him away.…
  • Default Image

    Negotiated Rules of Golf Between AARP and USGA

    The AARP has negotiated with the USGA to modify the following rules of golf for…
  • birthday2

    Jury Age

    Just as she was celebrating her 80th birthday, our friend received a jury-duty notice.…
  • Default Image

    Under Five

    A little child in church for the first time watched as the ushers passed the offering…
  • tombstone

    Goober Grave Readers

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one at:
    https://www.cybersalt.org/pastor-tim-s-cleanlaugh-site/what-is-a-goober


    Three goobers, Bubba, Earl and Jeb, were walking home late one night and…
  • Default Image

    Gripe Comments

    After every flight, pilots fill out a form (called a "gripe sheet," at some airlines)…