More Jokes

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    New Number

    We telemarketers know we're universally loathed. Still, some people are quite pleasant on…
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    Soft Seven

    A young man is paired up with a priest on the first hole at the golf course. When they…
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    Goat for Dinner

    The young couple invited their elderly pastor for Sunday dinner. While they were in the…
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    Blind Pilots

    One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated, waiting…
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    The two ladies were sitting in the living room, waiting for their hostess, who was…
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    Fuel Trudge

    After finishing an out-of-town errand, I discovered that my car wouldn't start because it…
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    Mouse Trap

    A woman rushes into a hardware store and said, "Can I have a mouse trap, please? And will…
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    Letter From A Farm Kid

    Letter from a farm kid, now at Paris Island Marine Corps recruit depot:Dear Ma and Pa:I…
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    Shopping Wife Find

    A couple went Christmas shopping at the mall. They decided to go their separate ways and…
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    Emergency Flowers

    I stopped at a florist shop after work to pick up roses for my wife. As the clerk was…
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    New Flavor?

    The young man entered the Ice Cream Palace and asked, "What kinds of ice cream do you…
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    Shoebox Dolls

    A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared everything. They…
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    Attainable New Year's Resolutions

    This year, I resolve to... - Gain weight; at least 30 pounds. - Stop exercising; waste of…
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    You Know You're in Trouble When

    You know you'rein trouble when ... Your accountant's letter of resignation is postmarked…
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    A little boy was roughhousing with his dog. His mother said to him, "Now, Peter, I know…

You know you're growing old when..

You've come to the annoying realization that your parents were right about almost everything.

The bag boy volunteers to help load groceries into your car-in the "ten items or less" lane.

You've stopped supporting your children, and started supporting your parents.

You've found yourself discussing the weather.

You remember your kid's names, just not always the right one.

You have nightmares about forgetting to move the garbage cans to the street for the garbage collector.

Your high school yearbook is now home to three different species of mold.

You buy "age-defying" makeup and "anti-wrinkle" creams and believe they work.

You've realized that all those geeky people in Bermuda shorts walking around Disney World include you.

You recognize Led Zeppelin songs that have been turned into elevator Muzak.

You've had three opportunities to buy every single Disney Animated Classic-"for the last time in a generation"

Wal-Mart and Target seem to share your fashion sense.

The only way you know to stop a virtual pet from beeping involves the patio and a sledgehammer.

You can pack two suits, Five shirts, five ties, five pairs of underwear, five pairs of socks, a pair of shoes, and half of your bathroom into a carry-on bag-in less than five minutes.

You know what Earth Shoes are.

You think if you hear "Stairway to Heaven" one more time your head will explode.

Your weight-lifting program seems to have no effect on your muscles, but the veins on the backs of your hands are bulking up quite nicely.

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