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    Inspector Mom

    Have you noticed anything fishy about the inspection teams who have arrived in Iraq?…
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    Rich Uncle

    Two men are talking. One says to the other, "I shouldn't have told my fiancĂ©e about my…
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    Lots of Kids

    I have five siblings, three sisters and two brothers. One night I was chatting with my…
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    Lost in the Woods

    Two hunters got lost in the woods. The first hunter said, "Don't worry. All we have to do…
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    Noah Glue

    Ending his sermon, a preacher announced that he would preach on Noah and the Ark on the…
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    Frugal - to save

    Mary's fourth grade homework assignment was to make sentences using the words in her…
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    Jury Duty Prejudice

    A man was chosen for jury duty who very much wanted to be dismissed from serving. He…
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    Politically Correct Light Bulb

    "How many politically-correct people does it take to screw in a light-bulb?" "Look, I…
  • keyboard-organ

    Hymns For The Aging

    *Hymns for the Aging* Precious Lord, Take my Hand (And Help Me Get Up) It is Well with My…
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    Ode to a Shedding Cat

    I think that I shall never seeA cat that sheds as much as thee. Thy fur that sticks is…
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    The Gas Men

    Two gas company servicemen, a senior training supervisor and a young trainee, were out…
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    Skiing Experience

    Miss the experience of skiing? Try the following to get that feeling back.10. Visit your…
  • motel sign

    Economy Motel

    One night at an economy motel, I ordered a 6:00 a.m. wake-up call. The next morning, I…
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    In the Bag

    I had an offer from a large company and they offered to fly me out to the meeting on…

You know you're growing old when..

You've come to the annoying realization that your parents were right about almost everything.

The bag boy volunteers to help load groceries into your car-in the "ten items or less" lane.

You've stopped supporting your children, and started supporting your parents.

You've found yourself discussing the weather.

You remember your kid's names, just not always the right one.

You have nightmares about forgetting to move the garbage cans to the street for the garbage collector.

Your high school yearbook is now home to three different species of mold.

You buy "age-defying" makeup and "anti-wrinkle" creams and believe they work.

You've realized that all those geeky people in Bermuda shorts walking around Disney World include you.

You recognize Led Zeppelin songs that have been turned into elevator Muzak.

You've had three opportunities to buy every single Disney Animated Classic-"for the last time in a generation"

Wal-Mart and Target seem to share your fashion sense.

The only way you know to stop a virtual pet from beeping involves the patio and a sledgehammer.

You can pack two suits, Five shirts, five ties, five pairs of underwear, five pairs of socks, a pair of shoes, and half of your bathroom into a carry-on bag-in less than five minutes.

You know what Earth Shoes are.

You think if you hear "Stairway to Heaven" one more time your head will explode.

Your weight-lifting program seems to have no effect on your muscles, but the veins on the backs of your hands are bulking up quite nicely.

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