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    Definitions

    ADULT:A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.…
  • classroom

    Divy It Up

    Mrs. Applebee, the 6th grade teacher, posed the following problem to one of her…
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    Life and Death

    A hospital posted a notice in the nurses' mess saying:"Remember, the first five minutes…
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    Well Done

    John was furious when his steak arrived too rare."Waiter," he shouted, "Didn't you hear…
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    In the Fitting Room

    My girlfriend took her five-year-old daughter shopping with her. The little girl watched…
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    Coffee Pain

    Linda and Jill were chatting over coffee.Said Linda, "I've been experiencing a strange…
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    Bad Day Sign

    You know it's going to be a bad day when your teenager knocks on your bedroom door first…
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    Where's The Beef

    The newly-married husband came home from the office to find his young wife in floods of…
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    Getting Fat

    When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came into the room…
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    Do It Yourself

    When a guy's printer type began to grow faint, he called a local repair shop where a…
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    Shopping Bags

    It was very crowded at the supermarket, and the customer in front of me had a large…
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    Three Rules

    One of my husband's duties as a novice drill instructor at Fort Jackson, S.C., was to…
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    Check The Mirror

    Harry was in his usual place in the morning sitting at the table, reading the paper after…
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    Lost Baggage

    I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the lost luggage…
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    Winter in Wisconsin

    It's winter in WisconsinAnd the gentle breezes blow,70 miles per hourAt 52 below! Oh, how…

You know you're growing old when...

..you've come to the annoying realization that your parents were right about almost everything.

..the bag boy volunteers to help load groceries into your car ... in the "ten items or less" lane.

..you've stopped supporting your children, and started supporting your parents.

..you buy "age-defying" makeup and "anti-wrinkle" creams and believe they work.

..you've realized that all those geeky people in Bermuda shorts walking around Disney World include you.

..you've had three opportunities to buy every single Disney Animated Classic "for the last time in a generation."

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