In Response to the following CleanQuote:

Great philosophical sayings:

"Know Thyself." - Plato

"I yam what I yam." - Popeye

K.H. wrote,

Dear Pastor Tim:
No disrespect but your quote by Popeye below is blasphemous.

Dear Pastor Tim,

I read the letter you mentioned (  Interesting.  I like your well stated reply.

With the Popeye "I yam what I yam," quote, I was expecting a "vegetable rights activist" writing in claiming the quote is somehow defaming relatives of the sweet potato.  (No relation to another Popeye comics character, Sweet Pea.)  After all, several US state do have laws against "produce disparagement".  They are states where you "don't 'disparagus' the asparagus".

A list member, who recently asked for instructions on how to manage her Cybersalt list subscriptions recently sent me this very humorous response to the detailed instructions I sent her.  Please understand that due to the size of some of my lists, I just don't have time to personally manage everyone's e-mail changes.  For the most part, the detailed instructions I send out to help solve people's subscription dilemmas themselves are very effective. 

Here is the note she sent me:

Pastor Tim:

Do you realize what it is like to be 62 years old & computer challenged & get a message like this one??????

By the time I read all this, I could have gone on to meet the Lord, you realize that don't you????????

LOL........I mean I am in the checkout lane now, dear boy.........I laughed & laughed reading all this.

I know you didn't mean it to be funny but to me it was.........Talk about Bill Gates not making anything easy for us?  Did you teach him?  Are you his pastor?

I don't need a Clean Laugh of the Day for today, this message was it!!!!!!

From Marilyn in Kansas

In response to following joke on the PearlyGates list (which features clean, theologically incorrect jokes) I received the flame immediately after it – after which I have included my reply.  

What’s Your Religion?

 I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. I immediately ran over and said, "Stop! Don't do it!" 

"Why shouldn't I?" he said. 

I said, "Well, there's so much to live for!" 

"Like what?" 


Hall of Flames - Pastor Tim's Hate MailThe world (and unfortunately some churches) have many discontented people and spiritual bullies. So when you try to uplift, entertain and encourage people, (and maybe even make them laugh) it only stands to reason that every now and then someone is going to go off the deep end on you. On the internet that deep end usually manifests itself through a vitrious and gall filled e-mail sent so the author can get his/her jollies by blasting you (otherwise known as a "flame").

Here is a collection of some of the more entertaining flames I have received. Don't worry about me. I've been around enough to know that such people come with the territory. Only, my approach is different that most other's. Most usually just get quiet or apologize in order to either placate the flamer and avoid getting burned up totally.

Me, I'd rather have a good laugh at their expense (after all I didn't make them type what they typed) and, in the case where they may attend the church I pastor, tell them to straighten up or go find another church to wreck.

Nobody eats sheep while this shepherd is on duty!

I like it when people make me laugh.  Here are some of the funnier letters I have gotten from list members/visitors.
Answers to some of the questions Pastor Tim has been asked - or should have been asked.

To quote actress Sally Field,
"You like me.? You really like me!"

Here are some of the notes of appreciation?I have received.