Monthly Archive

There was a rich man who was deliberately hard on his farmhand. He gave him a bottle and said, "Buy me a bottle of wine."The farmhand asked, "How can I buy you wine with no money at all?"The rich man... read more..

There was a knock at the door. It was a small boy, about seven years old. Something of his had found its way into my garage, he said, and he wanted it back.Upon opening the garage door, I noticed two ... read more..

There was a farmer who sold a pound of butter to the baker. One day the baker decided to weigh the butter to see if he was getting a pound and he found that he was not. This angered him and he took th... read more..

There is an old story about a mother who walks in on her six-year-old son and finds him sobbing. "What's the matter?" she asks."I've just figured out how to tie my shoes.""Well, honey, that's wonderfu... read more..

There is a mute who wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing one's teeth, he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done. Now if there is a blind ma... read more..

The San Francisco Zoo has an elephant, named Calle. It seems that Calle has a chronic illness which requires daily medication. The zoo people couldn't get Calle to take her dose orally, so a pharmac... read more..

The professor of a graduate-school class of gifted students included a HUGE amount of material on the midterm exam. Tension in the room built, people were sighing and gasping aloud as they realized h... read more..

The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class.She called on him and said, "Johnny! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?"Little Johnny quickly replied, "NBC, CBS, HBO and the Car... read more..

The manager of a large city zoo was drafting a letter to order a pair of animals. He sat at his computer and typed the following sentence: "I would like to place an order for two mongooses, to be del... read more..

The first marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. The second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience. The third marriage is the triumph of stupidity.... read more..

Sometimes friends have to tell you things you might not like to hear, but need to. If you are one of those people who like to forward every e-mail you get, please repeat the following ... 1) I will N... read more..

Several years ago while working at the county jail (where I still work) I was locking down the inmates for the night and one man didn't want to get off the phone. After several attempts to get him to ... read more..

Seen on a sign outside the Clinton Correctional Facility, a maximum security prison in Dannemora, New York: "The Dannemora fire department reminds you it's fire prevention week. Practice your escape p... read more..

Scientists have discovered an incredible fact: If an article of clothing is allowed to hang uninterrupted in a closet throughout just one holiday season, it will shrink at least two sizes.... read more..

Rushing to work, I was driving too fast and as a result was pulled over by the highway patrol. The state trooper noticed that my shirt had the name of a local high school on it. "I teach math there," ... read more..

Penny, a good Assessment Nurse was awakened at 4 a.m. to make a house call. She reluctantly got dressed and braved a snowstorm. After the examination, she told the patient to send immediately for his... read more..

One song can spark a moment,One flower can wake the dream.One tree can start a forest,One bird can herald spring.One smile begins a friendship,One handclasp lifts a soul.One star can guide a ship at s... read more..

One of the kindergarten teacher's Chinese-Canadian students was about to get a new little brother or sister. The teacher asked every few days if the blessed event had happened yet. The little boy was ... read more..

One of the best marksmen in the FBI was passing through a small town. Everywhere he saw evidence of the most amazing shooting. On trees, on walls, and on fences there were numerous bull's-eyes with th... read more..

One evening after dinner, my five-year-old son Eli noticed that his mother had gone out. In answer to his questions, I told him, "Mommy is at a Tupperware party." This explanation satisfied him for ... read more..

One day I was having breakfast with my daughter, who was about 8 years old at the time. I had done what any good dad would do, I fixed her a bowl of cereal. I even poured the milk into the bowl myself... read more..

On the first day of school, a first grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents."... read more..

Noah was standing at the gangplank checking off the pairs of animals when he saw three camels trying to get on board. "Wait a minute!" he said. "Two each is the limit. One of you will have to stay b... read more..

My wife works in the fuels squadron at an Air Force base, and many of her co-workers complain about the superior attitude of the pilots.One day the fuel crew decided to put things in perspective for t... read more..

My wife and I were newly married and I was trying to impress her with my technical expertise.I was trying to repair our washing machine but was unable to determine where a loose wire belonged. After ... read more..

My teenager was headed to school one morning when I told him that the neck tag on his shirt was hanging out. "I know," he replied. "It's a fad me and some of the guys started." Weeks later, as the sty... read more..

My sister was bemoaning the fact that she had procrastinated cleaning and organizing her house for a long time. Since she was planning to entertain, she felt a lot of pressure to get moving. That af... read more..

My husband-to-be helped his aunt take the furniture of her boyfriend's home to a charity after the gentleman had passed away. She asked him if we still needed anything for our new life, and he told h... read more..

My husband, Lawrence, had offered to give the toast at the wedding of his longtime friend Theo. They had shared many happy, and foolish incidents, and as the day approached, there was much speculation... read more..

My friend's husband is always telling her that housekeeping would be a snap if only she would organize her time better.Recently he had a chance to put his theory into practice while his wife was away.... read more..