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July 2011
Welcome to our Archives page. On this page you will find a total of
1778
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2067
<1min
One-liner #0426
“Computer message I'd like to see: Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.”
...
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2040
<1min
One-liner #0427
“Computers are not intelligent; they only think they are.”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1873
<1min
One-liner #0428
“Confidence is that feeling you have just before you fully understand the situation.”
...
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1977
<1min
One-liner #0429
“Confidence is what you feel before you comprehend the situation.”
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read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1990
<1min
One-liner #0430
“Denial: How an optimist keeps from becoming a pessimist.”
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read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1956
<1min
One-liner #0431
“Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.”
...
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2008
<1min
One-liner #0432
“Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I drive by again?”
...
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2126
<1min
One-liner #0433
“Don't bother me; I'm living happily ever after.”
...
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2041
<1min
One-liner #0434
“Don't let people drive you crazy when you know it's in walking distance.”
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read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2079
<1min
One-liner #0435
“Employment applications always ask who is to be notified in case of an emergency; I think you should write "911"!”
...
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2327
<1min
One-liner #0436
“Everyone is entitled to my opinion.”
...
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1762
<1min
One-liner #0437
“Everyone is on this low-fat craze now; the Mayo Clinic just changed its name to the Balsamic Vinaigrette Clinic.”
...
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1807
<1min
One-liner #0438
“Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1749
<1min
One-liner #0439
“Experience: A comb life gives you after you lose your hair.”
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read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1780
<1min
One-liner #0440
“Fools rush in...and get all the best seats.”
...
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2065
<1min
One-liner #0441
“Golden Rule: He who has the gold makes the rules.”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1962
<1min
One-liner #0442
“He who hesitates is not only lost but is miles from the next exit.”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1954
<1min
One-liner #0443
“Here lies Ezekial Aikle age 102 - the Good Die Young.”
...
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2153
<1min
One-liner #0444
“Here's a joke for all you mind readers out there...”
...
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1766
<1min
One-liner #0445
“He's a fine broth of a boy, too bad some of his noodles are missing.”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1900
<1min
One-liner #0446
“Honk if you're rich, cute, and love horses.”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1847
<1min
One-liner #0447
“How can the world end in 2012 when I have yogurt that expires in 2013?”
...
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1955
<1min
One-liner #0448
“How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2068
<1min
One-liner #0449
“I am Popeye of Borg; prepare to be askimilgrated.”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1983
<1min
One-liner #0450
“I believe five out of four people have trouble with fractions.”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1709
<1min
One-liner #0451
“I can see how astronomers figure out the distance of the stars and their size and temperatures and all that, but what really gets me is how they find out what their names are!”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1780
<1min
One-liner #0452
“I don't have a solution, but I admire your problem.”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1764
<1min
One-liner #0453
“I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.”~Will Rogers
...
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1720
<1min
One-liner #0454
“I doubt, therefore I might be.”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1710
<1min
One-liner #0455
“I feel sorry for the guy who has to play the world's smallest violin - everybody just thinks he's being sarcastic.”
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Results 1021 - 1050 of 1778